Will You Come Back?
by otems
Summary: Kagome has held in her feelings about Inuyasha and Kikyo for so long. But one night it's just too much for her to take, will she go home? Or stay with the man she so desperately loves?
1. Out for a Walk

**Will You Come Back?**

Chapter One

**Out for a Walk  
**

**0000000000**

The sun was just beginning to set in the Feudal Era, casting an orange light on the landscape. Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kagome, and Shippo were setting up camp after a full day of searching for Naraku. But, as usual, they hadn't found any traces of him. Just yesterday, they had encountered Suikotsu, the last missing member of the Band of Seven. The Band of Seven was a team of mercenaries that Naraku had brought back to life using shards of the Shikon Jewel. It was a battle that nearly took their lives, Kikyo included. She was left unconscious, and Inuyasha had had to carry her out of Mount Hakurei's barrier so her soul collectors could revive her.

Of course, it had affected Kagome to see them like that, Kikyo cradled in her ex-lovers strong arms. Kagome couldn't stand to look at them, together like that, it stirred up feelings in her that she worked so hard to ignore. It was hard not to notice the atmosphere between Kikyo and Inuyasha, even to strangers, and even when Kagome was avoiding looking at them. It was the atmosphere of two people who had once been in love, and possibly still in love. Since then, both Inuyasha and Kagome had been really quiet. The night before had made Kagome question everything about her life in the Feudal Era.

**000000**

"Inuyasha, are you…all right? You've been really quiet…since last night…like you're thinking about something important." Kagome finally mustered up the courage to ask Inuyasha the question that had been in her mind all day, though she wished she hadn't done it with everyone there. She was sitting on her sleeping bag, with Shippo in her lap. Kagome looked at Inuyasha with concern, but all she could see was his back. He was sitting on the opposite side of the campfire, facing the land before him, and not his friends behind him. Inuyasha hadn't even twitched his ears at Kagome's question; it was like he wasn't acknowledging it.

"Yeah, thinking isn't something you usually do…it's weird!" Shippo chimed in from his place in Kagome's lap. Shippo's comment was enough to merit an annoyed twitch of Inuyasha's ears.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean? You calling me stupid or something?" Inuyasha yelled as he whipped his head around, fist in the air. He stared at Shippo, but his eyes shifted to Kagome. She was staring at him with a strange look in her eyes, and even as his eyes met hers, she just kept staring.

"WHAT?" Inuyasha snapped at her, unwillingly letting his frustration get the better of him. He was no good at controlling his anger. Kagome's eyes widened at his outburst, but then softened as they filled with sadness. She looked down.

"…. It's nothing." Kagome said softly, hurt filling her voice in place of concern. Inuyasha was startled; he hadn't expected her to look so sad, he always snapped at people like that. Inuyasha grunted as he stood up, wanting to escape from the confusing feelings that were taking over him.

"I'm uh, gonna go take a walk…" He said as he walked into the darkness of the forest, not even glancing back at his friends. Kagome looked up at him as he walked away, her eyes growing even sadder.

"I wonder what his problem is. He's acting so weird…" Shippo said, crawling out of Kagome's lap to stand and watch Inuyasha shrink in the distance. Kagome also stood, grabbing her bow and arrows off the ground.

"It's Kikyo. She's the only one that can ever make him act like this, right? It's always Kikyo." Kagome said, looking down at the ground, scuffing up the dirt with her shoe. She had her bow in hand and the quiver of arrows on her back.

"Kagome, are you going somewhere?" Sango worriedly asked, noticing how sad Kagome looked. Everyone knew how Kagome felt when it came to Kikyo. For a couple seconds, she just stared at the ground, but then she seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in, and turned her attention to Sango.

"Oh, I'm just going for a walk. I…need to clear my head, that's all." Kagome smiled, trying to convince her friends that she was fine. But her smile faded as she took out the bottle of jewel shards she kept in her pocket. She stared at them, going into deep thought.

_The sacred jewel shards…the only things keeping me here…the only reason he needs me here. Without these…would he want me here? Without theses…I won't be able to come back…_ Kagome sat the bottle next to Shippo, and flashed him a forced smile.

"I'll leave these here for you to look after while I'm gone, 'k Shippo? I think it's better if I leave them here while I take a walk." Kagome started to walk away, but was interrupted as Sango said something.

"Do you want me to come with you Kagome? I don't think it's safe for you to go out alone here." Sango asked Kagome, looking up at her with worry plastered all over her face.

"Yes, she's right Kagome. Is it really safe for you to be alone at this time of night? The sun has set already, and we aren't familiar with this area." Miroku said, also becoming worried. He really didn't like the idea of her walking alone at night. Kagome turned to them, her facial expressions softening.

"Thanks for worrying about me guys, but don't. I'll be fine, really! I've got my arrows if anything happens." She appreciated their concern, but she was going to go anyway, she really needed to. Kagome turned back around and started walking away, in the opposite direction Inuyasha had gone.

**000000A/N**

so...rewrite better?

...worse?

i was gonna do em all at once but i decided to put some of them up. mainly i wanted to redo chapters one through four

those were pretty bad XD

but i hope you like these better! and chapter eleven is in the works

i've got an idea for whats gonna happen, and im gonna start it when im done updating

oh! yeah! i wanna do a drawing for every chapter, and i've already started one for this, so if any of you lovely readers wanna draw a picture for one of the chapters, i'll love ya forever!


	2. A Tornado of Comfort

Chapter Two

**A Tornado of Comfort**

**0000000000**

Inuyasha sat on a tree branch, his back against the trunk of the tree and one of his feet dangling high above the ground. Whenever he was feeling pensive, which was rare, he liked to sit in a high tree, and get a look of things below him. It gave him perspective. Inuyasha sighed.

_Why can't I let you go, Kikyo? I thought I got over you…but am I still in love with you? I don't understand…_ Kikyo's face floated through his mind, sending knots into his stomach. But as his mind wandered, Kagome came into view. The knots in his stomach increased, causing him to slightly flinch.

"What is this feeling?" He asked himself, not really knowing what the strange sensation in his stomach was. But as quickly as it had come, it went. Inuyasha looked at his stomach in confusion.

_That was weird…_

**000000**

Kagome was walking through the bleak forest, fallen leaves crunching underneath her light footsteps. Every now and then she would hear the rustle of a bush, or the crunching of leaves not caused by her own feet. But, it didn't scare her; she didn't really pay attention to it. She was too involved in her own thoughts.

_Inuyasha…why won't you make up your mind? I said I would stay with you, even though I know you'll never forget Kikyo…but I didn't know how much pain it would cause me…it hurts so much. I've tried to ignore how I feel, but I can't anymore. It's too much…it's too much pain! I think it's because…in reality…you've already made up your mind…_ Kagome fell to her knees on the floor, all strength having left her body. She didn't even have the energy to stand. All she wanted to do was sit there and cry, cry, cry.

Kagome held her face in her hands as she began to cry, letting the long held tears cascade freely down her face. That was what she felt like doing for a long time, every instance that she thought of Inuyasha and Kikyo. Her sobs were loud and pained, even with her trying so hard to be quiet. She didn't want anyone to hear her.

**000000**

Inuyasha looked up at the stars scattered across the black sky, still sitting in the branch, hands in his sleeves.

_I can't keep doing this…having the both of them on my mind…but how can I let either of them go?_

**000000**

She cried for a long time, too long. Finally, the tears stopped forming in her eyes and she wiped her face with the back of her hand. The school uniform she was wearing had gotten wet from all her crying. Kagome stood up, feeling strength and energy returning to her body. She continued on her way, as if she hadn't just been bawling on the floor.

_I know what I have to do to rid myself of this pain…it'll make things easier for everyone, especially me…but not at first._

**000000**

"Do you think Kagome is upset about the other night?" Shippo asked, a little confused at what was going on. Sango and Miroku looked over at the little guy.

"Of course. What else could get Kagome like this? She's usually very happy. Kagome must be worried that Inuyasha hasn't let go of his feelings for Kikyo. Inuyasha isn't helping the situation, what with the way he's been acting. He's very foolish when it comes to Kagome and Kikyo." Miroku answered. He was sitting cross-legged next to the fire, with a bright pink handprint on his cheek. It was the mark he brandished quite often, courtesy of Sango.

"Poor Kagome, she must be feeling awful, thanks to him. That damn Inuyasha! He doesn't know how to treat her, and he's always hurting her feelings," Sango said as she sat next to the crackling fire, a safe distance from Miroku, where his wandering hands couldn't reach her. Shippo and Miroku nodded in agreement.

**000000**

Kagome was still navigating her way through the forest, not quite sure in which direction she was going. She had already gone a long way from camp, but she kept on walking. The feeling of being about to burst into tears was creeping up on her again, and it was so tiring for her to fight it.

_No more crying. Please, no more crying! I can't cry any more…it only makes me feel more pathetic…_ She walked with her fists clenched tight, still fighting that terrible feeling.

_Besides…why am I crying so much? Why should I care who Inuyasha is in love with? I couldn't possibly have believed that I was that person…_ Kagome kept walking, her eyes on the leaf covered ground. Even when she heard a sudden gust of wind that blew leaves everywhere around her. She didn't bother to look up and see whom it was. Kagome knew who it wasn't, so she didn't care.

"Yo, Kagome. I knew I smelled your scent." Kouga stopped a few feet in front of Kagome, putting his hands on his hips. Kagome lifted her head to look him in the eye, still fighting the feeling that had pushed tears to her eyes. Kouga's eyes widened. And his hands left his hips in surprise.

"Kagome! What's wrong? Did something happen…?" But before he could finish asking his questions, Kagome ran into his arms and started sobbing. She wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing herself against him. Her sobs were uncontrollable now; all her feelings of sadness were finally flooding out.

"Huh? Kagome what's going on?" Kouga confusedly asked, he was genuinely surprised at what had just happened. When Kagome didn't answer, he lowered his arms around her, giving her the comfort she seeked. Kouga's cheeks were steadily tinting different shades of red, having never been hugged by Kagome like that before.

**000000**

sorry about the mess up earlier!

oh well nobody might've noticed...

but i put this chapter and the first chapter together XD


	3. Acknowledge Me

Chapter Three

**Acknowledge Me**

**0000000000**

Inuyasha jumped off of the branch and started running back to camp. He had had his fill of thinking. He thought it might help to go somewhere to think, but if anything, he was more confused than before.

He skidded to a stop in front of his friends, having reached his destination. Inuyasha's eyes wandered over each of his friends, and he noticed one missing.

"Hey, where's Kagome?" He asked, still standing, ready to take off.

"She left a while ago, a little bit after you did actually. But she hasn't come back yet though, it seemed like she was thinking about something really important." Shippo answered with his eyes closed as he licked a lollipop Kagome had given him. He heard a whoosh and opened an eye to see a blur of red flash by. Inuyasha was once again running off, but this time in search of Kagome.

"Boy is he dumb, doesn't he know he's the last person Kagome wants to see right now?" Shippo said. Maybe he was catching on.

"Mmmhmm." Sang and Miroku said in unison.

**0000000**

Kagome was still holding Kouga tightly, still crying. She hadn't stopped at all, and Kouga hadn't said a word. He knew she would talk when she wanted to, he wouldn't force her to do anything. Kouga was perfectly happy holding her in his arms, though he wished it were on better terms.

**000000**

Inuyasha was following Kagome's scent. He ran through the forest, trailing after her scent and hoping she was O.K. Inuyasha's nose twitched as he picked up a different scent, salt.

_Damn it! She must be crying… _He sniffed some more. _Argh, I can smell that mangy wolf, too. He'd better not be with her…_ Just the thought of Kouga and Kagome alone together made Inuyasha run twice as fast. He could smell the two scents growing stronger, until finally he found them…embracing. All he could see was Kagome's back, while Kouga was facing him.

_Why…why is she hugging him like that? How could she…but…she's crying…?_

"What the hell are you doing?" Inuyasha barked out. He stopped in his tracks, too stunned to walk, and barely able to muster that one sentence. Kouga looked over at him with anger in his eyes.

"I should be asking you that same question, mutt! What in the hell did you do to Kagome?" Kouga's arms protectively tightened around Kagome, who just kept crying, her attempts to becoming futile. She didn't even act like Inuyasha was there. Inuyasha tore his glare from Kouga to look at Kagome's trembling body, he noticed how she was acting like he wasn't there, and it hurt him. But it hurt just the same to have to watch her hug Kouga so tightly.

_What happened to make her cry like this? Was it something I did…?_ Kouga stared at Inuyasha, wanting to beat the crap out of him, but he was a little tied down at the moment.

"I'm…not sure what I did." Inuyasha answered. His eyes got very sad, losing the anger that had been boiling up. Kagome's sobs got less intense, but she flinched at the sound of Inuyasha's voice. Kouga grew even angrier when he heard Inuyasha's answer.

"Well you damn well did something! You're just too stupid to know when you hurt Kagome!" Kouga yelled, getting frustrated with Inuyasha. But Inuyasha ignored his comment as he started walking towards them, reaching out his hand to put on Kagome's shoulder.

"Kagome…? Can we talk…please?" He gently asked, still reaching his hand out, but putting it down when Kagome hunched her shoulders and started sobbing again. She shook her head, not being able to say the words.

_I can't even speak…please, Inuyasha just go, I don't want to hurt you… _Kagome silently pleaded. Inuyasha's eyes widened, then fell to the ground. He looked so hurt, but luckily for him Kagome couldn't see. Kagome clutched Kouga even tighter, continuing her pained sobs.

"Look, why don't you just go back to everyone else? Kagome will go back when she feels better." Kouga said to him. Inuyasha looked at Kouga, then back down to Kagome.

_Why is she letting him talk for her? She seems really hurt…but I don't know from what!_ Inuyasha wished she would say something, anything. But she stayed silent. He gave in.

"…All right. I guess I'll be going…Kagome? I'm sorry if I hurt you…I…. I wish I knew what I did…I-I hate to think I made you cry like this." He turned around, and paused for a second, reluctant to leave. But he sped off, forcing himself not to look back, trying to force out Kagome's crying. She sounded like she was in so much pain, when he was running away Kagome's sobs grew in intensity, and she pressed herself even more against Kouga.

_Inuyasha sounded so hurt…I wonder if he's worried about me…? But…he's too preoccupied with Kikyo, I'm sure…_

**000000**


	4. I'm Not Good Enough

Chapter Four

**I'm Not Good Enough**

**000000000**

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were still awake, waiting for Kagome and Inuyasha's return. They all looked up as they heard the familiar whoosh of Inuyasha's robe. But as their eyes wandered over his tall figure, they noticed Kagome wasn't with him.

"HEY! Where's Kagome? Inuyasha, you jerk! You better not have left her all alone!" Shippo yelled as he stood with his little fist in the air, intending to be threatening. Inuyasha looked down at the fox-demon, becoming agitated, and punched Shippo on the head. He fell to the floor, with a big bump on his head and his eyes spinning. Inuyasha cracked his knuckles as he walked over to a tree.

"Shut up. I found her, she was with Kouga…and she was crying. A lot. But I don't know why…anyways she seemed pretty upset. She wouldn't come back with me…" He said quietly.

_Or even look at me._ Inuyasha glumly thought as he sat with back against the trunk of the tree.

"What'd you do to make Kagome so upset Inuyasha?" Sango asked, worried about her best friend suffering. Inuyasha's eyebrows furrowed in thought, as he searched for the answer to Sango's question. He adjusted himself against the tree.

"I don't know! Why does everyone always think it's me that makes her cry?" He said, clenching his fists in anger. The image of Kagome's slim body pressed against Kouga, and his arms wrapped around her in return, kept floating through his mind. Miroku and Sango exchanged glances, both knowing very well the reason Kagome was crying.

"I'm going to go find her and bring her back, I want to talk to her. And besides, I think we all agree it's not a good idea to leave Kagome vulnerable like that with Kouga. " Sango said as she grabbed her hiraikotsu and stood up, dusting the dirt off of her dress.

"No, Sango…I think we should let her be. She'll come back when she needs to," Miroku said, "I'm thinking Lady Kagome has been holding in her frustration and sadness about Inuyasha and Kikyo for along time, never letting those feelings get the better of her. She isn't the type to let people worry on her account, but even Kagome has a breaking point it seems. She probably got overwhelmed last night when she saw the two of you Inuyasha." Sango rested her hiraikotsu back against the tree as she sat down next to Miroku. She stared at him, slightly frowning, wishing he hadn't just said that. Inuyasha grunted and turned back to look at Miroku, and shot him an evil look. He then turned his attention back to the brightly lit sky.

"But nothing happened between me and Kikyo last night! You were all there!" Inuyasha said, obviously not taking in everything that Miroku said.

"Yes, we all saw last night that nothing different happened. But it's not that something different happened to make her upset, it's that the same thing that always happens did. Kikyo always has a certain effect on you, and Kagome always notices. All those times before have been piling on top of Kagome, and even a strong person such as herself has a breaking point when it comes to love." Miroku said matter-of-factly. Shippo and Sango's mouth dropped at what he just said.

"EH…LOVE? I don't know Miroku, Inuyasha sure can be a jerk to Kagome sometimes. She would never love a guy that's so mean to her." Shippo thoughtlessly said, and he ran behind Sango for protection, expecting another blow on his head. Miroku and Sango sweat-dropped, dreading what Inuyasha's reaction would be. But as seconds passed, Shippo didn't feel the force of Inuyasha's fist hitting his head, and he peeked from behind Sango. Inuyasha hadn't gotten up, but was looking down at the ground, his eyes hidden behind his silver bangs. He looked solemn.

_It's true…I'm not good enough for Kagome, am I? And…Kouga is. That's why she's with him right now. But…will you be coming back?_


	5. Reaching Serenity

Chapter Five

**Reaching Serenity**

**0000000000 **

"Kagome? Are you OK now?" Kouga asked, his arms still lovingly wrapped around her, holding her in a tight embrace. She had stopped crying, but hadn't moved or said a word, she just stood hugging Kouga. The only sound she made was her small hiccups, she had been crying so hard. Her face was covered in her tears, but she hadn't moved her arms or hands to wipe them.

After hearing Kouga's words, she loosened her grip on him and stepped back, once again looking at the ground. She didn't want Kouga to see her likes this, so weak, so…pathetic. Kouga lifted his hands and hesitated, but then wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at him and blushed; he was being so genuinely kind to her.

"I'm sorry Kouga, I'm such a mess," She looked back down at her feet, "I didn't mean to dump this all on you. But…thank you, thank you for being here for me." Kagome looked back up at him and smiled. Kouga felt relief and warmth spread through his mind and body. He smiled back, he couldn't help it, he was so relieved that Kagome had stopped crying and her lips were no longer cast in a frown.

"Of course, I'm always here for you, Kagome. You don't have to thank me," He clasped her hands in his own and lifted them, "What did that stupid Inuyasha do to you?" Worry filled his eyes as he intently searched Kagome's brown ones, awaiting an answer. But he wouldn't mind if the answer wouldn't come, he was content just getting lost in her beautiful eyes.

Kagome looked into his worry filled eyes, but then turned her head.

"Nothing really. Nothing out of the ordinary." She answered, barely above a whisper.

_Maybe that's part of it. He hasn't done anything. Anything to make me think I'm more than a friend, or at least something more than a jewel detector._ Kagome's mind was starting to get cloudy, she felt corrupted. Since when had she started to feel so pessimistic? What made her feel like this?

Kouga let go of her hands, she let her arms drop limply at her sides, while Kouga put his hands back on his hips. He turned to the side to look at the moon, his eyes adjusting to stare at the bright orb.

"Do you want to be alone?" A simple question he asked, but Kagome couldn't find the answer. Did she want to be alone? Or…did she want to be held again, and feel like she's important to someone?

"I…" Kagome started, but then took back her thoughts, "Yes…I just need to clear my head." She looked up at him while he stared at the moon. It gave her a chance to really look at his features, he really was quite handsome, and she loved his blazing blue eyes that always looked at her with with such care. But, she didn't look at him the way she did at Inuyasha, even though she wished she could. She wished she could look at Kouga the way he looked at her, the way she looked at Inuyasha…the way Inuyasha looked at Kikyo.

_It's ironic,_ She thought, _That I should look at someone so lovingly, and have someone look that way at me, but neither of us get that affection in return.  
_

Kouga looked back down at her and once again lost himself in those deep brown eyes. He snapped himself out of it and spoke.

"Anything you need Kagome, I'm here." He grabbed her hands again, and stared into her eyes. He was starting to get repetitive…but she was just so hypnotic to him. He lowered his head, his lips aiming to crash with hers, but, he knew that would be wrong. She was too vulnerable right now. Kagome's cheeks tinted pink as he brought his face closer, she was dreading the inevitable, or maybe, she wasn't.

_It wouldn't be so terrible if he kissed me…would it?_ She asked herself. Trying to convince herself that it was what she wanted.

As Kouga lips came inches from Kagome's, he changed his course and gently kissed her cheek. He lingered there for a moment, resting his lips on Kagome's flushed cheek. Then he pulled away and slowly withdrew his hold on her hands. He looked at her beautiful, blushing face.

"I'll see ya Kagome!" Kouga waved as he turned and sped off, leaving a dazed and confused Kagome.

_What…just happened now?_ She blinked as she watched him distance himself in his ever so familiar tornado. Her eyes became soft and she actually looked like her mind wasn't in warfare.

"Thank you, Kouga." Kagome looked at him as he was swallowed in the shadows of the forest.

**000000**

Kagome walked for a while until she came upon a clearing, probably the size of half a football field, and quite beautiful. The trees surrounding the open grass almost formed a perfect circle, the grass was luscious and dewy, and the full moon cast a surreal light on the space. Kagome looked up at the full moon and all the stars scattered across the sky, and couldn't help but grow sadder for some reason. It was like it made her even sadder that the sky could be so beautiful when she felt so terrible. But maybe, it was to give her hope. Still, it didn't help. Her mindset wouldn't allow it.

The word that came to mind as she walked to the middle of the clearing was 'serene'. So beautiful and peaceful. Kagome laid on her back with her arms and legs spread out, as if she was making a snow angel.

_I...almost feel…serene._ Kagome thought as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

**000000**

"_Yawn_…hahh…Inuyasha? Are you going to stay up all night waiting for Kagome?" Shippo rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He had been falling asleep curled up next to Kirara, when he heard Inuyasha adjust himself against the tree he had been sitting against. Miroku and Sango were already asleep; the endless search of the day had really worn them out.

"Just go to sleep, Shippo." Inuyasha said, casting his eyes towards the little fox demon.

_Besides, she's most likely not coming back tonight._ Inuyasha looked away from Shippo to stare at the ground, his mind a blank, finally. All night he had been trying to erase the image of Kouga and Kagome, but couldn't stop it from searing his mind. And at last, his mind was blank, like he wanted.

"All right…_yawn_…. hahh … night." Shippo let his head fall back against Kirara's soft fur. He closed his green eyes and fell fast asleep.

_Kagome…what did I do? I don't understand. I hate it when you cry… especially when I'm the one that made you cry. _Inuyasha looked down, his eyes becoming concealed in the shadows of his bangs, disappointed that his mind was wandering again.

**000000A/N**

Yay! my first semi-long chapter...woot! I think after this they'll be longer...

anyways! i wanted to thank everyone for their nice reviews! they really helped my stupid writer's block...


	6. Saying Goodbye

**Chapter 6**

_Saying Goodbye_

----

Kagome's eyes fluttered open as she took in her surroundings; she was still lying in the clearing.

_'Oh…I must have fallen asleep. I felt so relaxed…'_ Kagome stretched her arms forward as she sat up. Her eyes grew wide as she remembered something.

_'Shoot! I left my backpack at camp…**sigh**… that means I'll probably have to see Inuyasha. He almost never sleeps, especially when we camp out in the forest like this. Miroku, Sango, and Shippo will be asleep I'm sure…still, it'll be hard to have to see them for the last time. Well I guess if Inuyasha asks, I can tell him that I'm only going back for a little while. But I really don't want to lie to him.'_ Kagome almost never lied, and if she did, it was the tiniest white lie that couldn't possibly cause any trouble. She was just a very nice and considerate person, which was one of the many things she didn't like about herself at the moment.

She stood up and dusted off the grass that lay around her uniform, and started walking back towards camp. Er, well, at least she thought she was. It was dark so she couldn't see very well, and Kagome had never been very good with directions.

After wandering around mindlessly for what seemed to be forever, Kagome stopped walking and looked around her. It was hard to see, but she could make out the tall trees surrounding her, and the twigs and leaves that crunched under her feet. She started to feel a little frightened, she tightened her grip on her bow and readied her hand to reach behind her and grab an arrow if she needed to. The forest was just plain creepy at this time of night.

_'**Sigh**…how am I supposed to go all the way back to the well if I can't even find my way back to camp? I didn't go that far did I…' _She dropped to the floor and sat cross-legged, resting her chin on her right hand, holding her bow in her left. Trying to think of a way to find her way back to camp. She squinted her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows together, showing how deep in thought she was. Suddenly, she remembered how she had left the bottle of the Shikon jewel shards with Shippo.

_'That's it! It's so simple, gosh,' _She stood up and slapped her forehead, _'I can just sense the shards and that'll take me back to camp. Can't believe I didn't think of that before!'_ Kagome turned in a circle, trying to sense the shards. Finally she faintly felt them; she must've walked a really long way. She started going in the direction she sensed them, which was the opposite way she had originally been going. Oo

She tiptoed towards the camp, trying to not make sound as her feet silently crunched the dead leaves on the ground. As her friends came into sight she hid behind a tree, just in case any of them were awake. Her eyes sifted through the scene, Shippo was snoring soundly curled up against Kirara, who was also asleep. Sango was laying in a sleeping bag Kagome had given her, and Miroku was leaning against a tree, also fast asleep.

'_They all look so peaceful.'_ Kagome thought as her eyes softened and she smiled. Slowly her eyes moved towards the tree Inuyasha was leaning against. She was surprised to see his eyes closed, and his chest moving up and down rhythmically with each deep breath. Kagome let a gasp escape her lips; it surprised her to see him sleeping like that. He usually stayed awake so he could guard against any demon that tried to attack them when they were most vulnerable, when they slept. She gazed at his handsome face, not only handsome, but also beautiful. Kagome loved it when he slept; it made him look calm, and not fierce.

_'Ugh, what am I doing? I can't stay here long. He might smell me or…I might convince myself to stay.' _Kagome looked away and slowly stepped over to her backpack that was next to the sleeping Shippo and Kirara. She picked up her backpack and reached down to grab the bottle of the shards that was next to Shippo, but took her hand back.

_'Guess it's a habit. I forgot I'm not taking those with me this time.'_ She lifted her backpack onto her shoulders and looked down at Shippo, she felt like patting his head or hugging him goodbye, but she couldn't. It would just make her want to stay, and besides, she would wake him up. She silently walked away from the camp, she stopped when she was but a few feet from it, and looked back at her dear friends. Her eyes filled with tears as she finally realized this was the last time she would be looking at them, she forced herself to turn her head as tears trickled down her face and she continued walking.

Inuyasha opened one of his eyes to see Kagome walking away; he had been awake all along. He pretended to be asleep when he smelled her coming near because he didn't want to scare her off…and, he wanted to talk to her away from everybody. He stood up and grabbed his Tetsusaiga, then quietly started to follow Kagome.

When they reached the clearing Kagome had fallen asleep in, she stopped walking. She had reached her destination fairly fast; maybe her sense of direction was improving.

"Please Inuyasha, please don't follow me." Kagome said, her back turned to him as he walked out of the shadows of the forest and into the moonlight. It was hard for her to say those words, she had said them very quietly, but knew his sensitive ears would hear her plea. Those were the last words she wanted to say to him. All she wanted to do was turn around and run into his arms, tell him what troubled her. But most of all, she wanted to tell him how she really felt, but even she was unsure of that. It's part of what she was so confused about. She knew she couldn't tell him how she felt though, or thought she felt.

'_It wouldn't be fair to tell him that…to him or me. I would just be rejected, and besides he's obviously chosen Kikyo. Not that there was a choice, it's always been her…always.'_ Realizing that made Kagome feel angry, it wasn't fair. She clenched her jaw and drew her hands into tight fists at her sides.

'_How'd she know I was following her? Did she know the whole time?' _Inuyasha asked himself as he walked over to her. He shook his head to rid the question from his mind, that isn't what he came to talk to her about. He stopped walking when he was a few feet from the back of Kagome.

"Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked, trying not to make the question sound harsh. Kagome didn't answer for a while, Inuyasha was about to yell for her to answer his question when he saw her hands unclench.

"…home." She answered plainly. Her voice wasn't perky or happy like it usually was, it was monotone, like she had no feelings. Inuyasha let his breath escape from his lungs, he hadn't realized he had been holding his breath wating for her answer. He felt relieved that she wasn't going back with Kouga, though he would never let her know that.

"What! NO way! You just got back!" Inuyasha yelled, forgetting how upset she had been earlier, he really wasn't the sensitive type.

"LOOK INUYASHA! I NEED TO GET A BREAK, OK? A BREAK! I NEED TO GO HOME…" She clenched her fists again, panting from her sudden outburst. Inuyasha looked at her with wide eyes, she almost never yelled like that.

"I just…can't be here… around you… right now." Kagome said, her voice calmer and filled with sadness in place of monotone, Inuyasha almost wished it would go back to that. Instead of hearing the pain in her voice that he had unknowingly inflicted. He didn't know what to say. His mind was sifting through the past week trying to find what he said or didn't say to make her so upset. But he couldn't find anything. He looked at her, she still had her back to him. It was really starting to irritate him that she wouldn't look at him, like he was some kind of monster.

"Rrrr, why won't you look at me!" Inuyasha screamed as he stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders to spin her around and look her in the eye. His eyes grew wide as he looked at her face, pink from all the crying she had done. In her eyes were tears that had yet to fall, but what struck him the most was how sad and troubled her eyes looked. It was as if she was doing something that caused her excruciating pain, which, unknown to him, did. He looked into her eyes and she into his, but then she shifted her gaze to the ground. She wouldn't answer his question. Inuyasha grunted in frustration and pulled her to him, wrapping her in his strong arms, but he held her gently. He let his head fall down and rested his chin on her shoulder. But Kagome didn't move, she didn't wrap her arms around him as she had done with Kouga. Her arms just lay limply at her sides.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome's voice became strangled, "let me go!" She squirmed in his arms, but not enough to force herself away. She couldn't help but love the feeling of his arms around her, the warmth of his body against hers. But she couldn't bring herself to return the hug, when she knew that those same arms hugged Kikyo so many times before.

'_Don't do this to me, please!'_ Kagome thought, his embrace was only making her mind more cloudy and confused.

"What did I do Kagome? What did I do…to make you hate me like this?" His voice was quiet and pained, like he was admitting something he tried so desperately to forget. He raised his head and reluctantly removed his arms from Kagome. Yet another question she wouldn't answer.

The tears that Kagome was holding at bay were now trailing down her cheeks. She turned around before she let Inuyasha see them, although she knew he could smell them. He looked at her back, saddened that she still refused to look at him. But he didn't know it was that she didn't want to look at him, it was that she didn't want him to look at her. Inuyasha's eyes filled with concern as he realized that she was once again crying. He hesitantly raised his hand and put it on her shoulder, attempting to comfort her.

Kagome gasped and hunched her shoulders, flinching at his touch. Inuyasha withdrew his hand, more hurt than before. She seemed so scarred, so traumatized and scared…because of him?

"I…don't hate you, Inuyasha." She answered. Lowering her eyes to stare at the ground.

'_It's just the opposite, Inuyasha. But I can't even talk to you right now, it's so painful.'_ Kagome started to walk away, leaving Inuyasha to stare after her.

"How long? How long are you going to be gone for?" Inuyasha asked when she started to walk away. Kagome took a few more steps, then stopped walking, her hands holding her backpack straps.

'_A really...really long time.'_ She answered in her mind, but gave a different one to the half-demon.

"…I don't know." Her voice was back to monotone. What she said wasn't a complete lie, she wasn't telling him that she was coming back, but she didn't say she wasn't, either…

She continued walking away, her hair swaying in the wind, wishing she had said so many meaningful things to him. After all, this was their last goodbye, but Inuyasha didn't know that. Still, he also found himself kicking himself for not saying something to make her stay, or at least asking her to stay. He stood in the middle of the clearing, his fire rat robe rustling against his body, as he watched the one person he ever really trusted walk farther and farther away from him.

Well i decided to add my author's note at the end now...

anyways, like it so far? i spent a lot more time on this chapter and chapter 5 than the first four...

im not sure where im going next in the story, i've written some more, but nothing too exciting yet...>>


	7. OneSided Love

**Chapter 7**

_One-Sided Love_

_-------------_

Night had fallen in Kagome's era, blanketing her room in black shadow. The lamp on her desk was the only thing providing light, showing her stretched out on her stomach on top of her bed. Her cheek was resting on her pillow and her hands were underneath it.

She had just begun to drift off to sleep as Inuyasha crept into her thoughts. Kagome had only been home for two days, and each one of those days she found herself desperately trying to forget about him, but unable to. And now, when she was looking forward to the few hours where her thoughts were beyond her control, he wouldn't let her sleep. Her mind was restless, while her body was throbbing from a shattered heart. Kagome was sifting through every scene, every word and touch between Kikyo and Inuyasha in her mind. The way he so lovingly looked at her, the sweet words he would say to her with every ounce of love that he never showed to anyone else. The way…the way he held her and kissed her. Remembering each one of those intimate moments between the two made her grasp her pillow tighter, disrupting how relaxed she was.

_He's never looked at me that way or held me that way…and he never will. When he hugged me…it…it didn't mean anything._

Kagome grabbed her pillow tighter and tighter, until it was scrunched underneath her face that was now buried in it. But as her mind continued dancing, Shippo, Miroku, Sango, and Kirara came into view. Her lips twitched and almost formed a smile a she thought about her dear friends that she had left behind, without even so much as a goodbye.

"I wonder what they're doing now…" Kagome thought out loud. Her expression grew sadder as she pictured her friends sitting around the usual campfire. Inuyasha chasing Shippo, Sango raising her hand to slap Miroku for his lecherous actions. It made her sadder to think that she would never again help set up that campfire, or yell at Inuyasha for hitting Shippo, or even laugh at Miroku when his hands would get the better of him. Those weren't the best moments, sure, but it was how they acted when they weren't troubled. It was Kagome's favorite way of remembering them. After all, that's all she would be doing. Remembering. She promised her self she wouldn't, no…couldn't go back, even if she wanted to…the jewel shards were no longer in her possession. So even if she wanted to, and tried to, she couldn't go back. She hadn't even been over to the shrine since she came back, the memories were too hurtful. Kagome couldn't go back to the pain; it was even greater when she was around Inuyasha. He confused her so much she couldn't think straight…but what hurt most was that it was one-sided love.

Kagome turned her head so her cheek once again rested on her pillow. Letting the tears that had welled up slowly drip down her face as she curled up pulling her legs to her chest, searching for comfort.

--------------------

"RRRRR! How long is she gonna stay in that damn era of hers!" Inuyasha growled as he down the bone-eaters well, the portal to Kagome's time. He was hoping, wishing, that Kagome would spring out with a smile plastered on her face and spreading her good mood to everyone around her, it was infectious. She could always put somebody in a good mood, even Inuyasha. Kagome didn't know how much her happiness meant to Inuyasha, or how much it made him happy. Though, he would never admit it. He tapped his long claw-like nails on the wood frame of the well, anxiously awaiting Kagome's return.

"You can't expect her to come back as if nothing happened!" Shippo hopped up on to the ledge of the frame, opposite Inuyasha. "She seemed really upset, and it's all YOUR fault!" He pointed an accusatory finger at the half-demon.

"AH! SHUT UP! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Inuyasha screamed at him as he sprang up to punch Shippo on the head. Shippo fell backwards off the ledge, his eyes swirling around from the force of the hit.

Shippo, being his nosy self, had been nagging Inuyasha about what happened the night Kagome left. Inuyasha wouldn't tell anyone the full story; he just said Kagome said she was going home for a bit. Shippo was also nagging Inuyasha to go get Kagome; he really missed her when she was gone. Even though it had only been two days, Shippo missed her a lot; she was like a mother t o him.

_I guess if she doesn't come back tomorrow I'll go get her…still, maybe she does need some space._ Inuyasha thought as he rested his head back on the ledge, his left hand resting under his chin and his other hand continuing the nail tapping. That's the thing Kagome had forgotten to consider, that Inuyasha was able to get to her time even without the jewel shards. For some reason he was the only one able to do so.

"Inuyasha, if you hadn't made Kagome go back to her time, she could've been here to sit you for hitting me…" Shippo whined as also rested his head on the ledge with his hands underneath his chin, looking down into the dark abyss of the well. It was a curious site, seeing Inuyasha and Shippo so eagerly wait for the return of the girl they both deeply cared for. The girl that thought none of them really cared, the girl that thought they considered her just a 'jewel detector'. Inuyasha had called her that himself quite a few times, though she didn't let it get to her then. But the name sat in the back of her mind until it slowly seeped into her conscious, distorting her thoughts and making her feel that she was just that, and only that.

"Hey…Inuyasha. Do you think Kagome left the jewel shards here on purpose? Doesn't she need them to come back here from her time?" Shippo asked when he took out the bottle of jewel shards Kagome had left behind from his shirt. He held them in his tiny hand as he recalled waking up and seeing them lie next to him. He just assumed Kagome forgot them, so he tucked them in his shirt for safekeeping. Inuyasha stopped staring down the well to glare at Shippo, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. He stayed like that for a minute, processing what he had just heard.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE?" Inuyasha yelled as he jumped up, fists aimed towards Shippo. "If she left the jewel shards, that means she won't be able to come back! SO! That means I have'ta go get her! ARGHH! SHE DID THIS ON PURPOSE TO MAKE ANGRY! And, to make me go get her and apologize for some stupid thing that I didn't do! Besides, she should be apologizing to me for getting so cozy with that damn wolf." He yelled more at himself than Shippo. Inuyasha didn't realize how serious it was, he was jumping to the wrong conclusion, thinking this was just another one of Kagome's tantrums.

"Humph. Hell, I'll show her. I think I'll just wait a while before going back to get her. That'll put a dent in her stupid plan. She's probably expecting me to show up right away. Keh, yeah right!" Inuyasha sat with his back to the well and legs and arms crossed, looking pretty satisfied. His fingers continued tapping on his arms.

"So…then why are you still here?" Shippo asked with suspicious eyes as he put the jewel shards away. Inuyasha looked over at him and grunted.

"SHUT UP!"


	8. Let Me Go

**Chapter Eight**

_Let Me Go_

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Inuyasha hid behind the sacred tree, looking around one last time to make sure he wasn't being followed by anyone, namely Shippo. Once he knew he was in the clear, he dashed to the bone-eaters well. He stopped just in time to save himself from crashing into it at the pace he was running. Inuyasha folded his arms into his sleeves and put one foot on the ledge of the well. It had only been six hours ago that he had been hitting Shippo and declaring that he wouldn't be getting Kagome for a long time, 'to teach her a lesson'. Obviously, he couldn't stand to not be around Kagome for more than two days. He was getting restless to see her. He had to.

_I still don't understand why she was so upset. Seriously, what'd I do? _He furrowed his brows in frustration. _Rrrr I swear every time I think about that night it just pisses me off! _Of course, he still remembered perfectly how Kagome had hugged Koga, and she hadn't returned his when he hugged her. _Why would she hug Koga but not me?_ He thought sadly. _Wait, what the hell am I saying? I don't care. I could care less who she hugs and doesn't hug! _Thinking about that night just served to make Inuyasha angry.

"I don't care if I have to drag her back! SHE'S COMING BACK!" The hanyou yelled angrily as he jumped down into the well and got surrounded by the blue light.

"See! I told you guys he would break down and get her soon!" Shippo gleefully yelled as he jumped up and down in the spot he had been hiding with Miroku and Sango.

"Yes, Shippo you were right. But, I wonder if Lady Kagome is all right since that night. Maybe she is still upset, what if she won't come back with Inuyasha yet?" Miroku looked pensive as he stood up, his eyes were closed and his hand was rubbing his chin.

"Well, I hope Kagome comes back. I miss her when she's gone. And it doesn't help having YOU around, PERVERT!" Sango yelled when she felt Miroku's hand 'caressing' her behind, as he liked to say. She raised her hand with her eyes closed in irritation.

All the birds flew out of the tree as a loud SLAP resounded through the forest.

Miroku sighed dreamily. "It's always well worth the pain."

Shippo looked at him with disgust. "You're such a pervert, Miroku."

00000

It was morning, quarter past three to be exact, in Kagome's era. It was still pitch black outside, and as to be expected, Kagome was sleeping. But even in her dreams she was still plagued by thoughts of Inuyasha.

00000

"Inuyasha?" She put a hand on his shoulder; he was facing the opposite way, his back to her. They were somewhere completely white; nothing was there except for Kagome and Inuyasha.

Inuyasha turned around and his eyes widened with joy as he saw that it was Kagome who had put her hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She melted into his embrace. Kagome raised her arms to wrap them around his body. It felt so right. She savored everything about it. The warmth of his body, the touch of his hands against her shoulders, the way he smelled, and the way his body felt against hers. Everything.

"I'm so happy…" She said as she closed her eyes and took in all that was happening.

00000

Inuyasha slid the window to Kagome's room open, as slowly and quietly as he could. He hopped down onto the floor and sniffed in Kagome's scent, and couldn't stop himself from taking another deep breath. He wished he could be surrounded by Kagome's scent every minute of every day. He looked at her in her slumber, she was stretched out on her stomach with her hands underneath her pillow and her face towards him. Inuyasha felt himself smile as he saw how peaceful and beautiful she looked.

_At least she doesn't look angry anymore…she looks…. so…beautiful._ Inuyasha was shocked at what he just thought, and shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. He came to get Kagome, and that's what he was going to do.

00000

"Oh, Inuyasha. I thought you didn't care about me…" Kagome whispered as she nestled her head into his chest. She felt his grip on her tighten,

"Of course I care, Kikyo." Kagome's eyes flew open. The feeling of love, warmth, protection, it all flew far, far away when he said that one word. That cursed word.

_Don't tell me he just said what I think he said…oh god. _She felt tears come to her eyes. Kagome let her arms fall to her sides, not wanting to return the hug anymore. Not having the energy to. She thought it was for her.

"W-what are you saying Inuyasha? I'm Kagome!" She tried to push herself out of Inuyasha's forceful embrace, but it only caused him to hold on tighter.

"I'm so glad you came back Kikyo…I missed you…so much." Inuyasha whispered as he closed his eyes.

00000

Inuyasha noticed Kagome's eyes starting to twitch and her eyebrows were furrowed, as if she something was hurting her.

"Inuyasha…" She whispered in her sleep.

_Is she…dreaming about me? But…why does she look like that? I wonder what she's dreaming about to make her look so hurt… _Inuyasha stepped forward and pushed Kagome's hair out her face, gently touching her cheek with his fingers.

"She's so warm…" He whispered to himself as he stroked her naturally rosy cheeks, he didn't want to stop. Inuyasha wanted to be able to feel her, know what it was like to touch her.

00000

"Inuyasha! Let me go! I'm Kagome! NOT…Kikyo…" She whispered the last word, still trying to push him off of her.

_Does he really think I'm Kikyo? Is that all I am to him…a part of Kikyo? _Kagome s hut her eyes and shook her head, not wanting to believe it. Tears squeezed out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Inuyasha let go of Kagome and placed his hands on her shoulders. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her intensely.

"Kikyo…why are you crying?" He sadly asked as he stroked her cheek, taking away her tears with his fingers. Kagome shook her head violently, she felt as if her heart had been ripped out whenever he said that name. But hearing him call her that…it was even worse.

"NO!" She yelled as she sobbed.

00000

"Inuyasha…let me go…" Kagome whispered as her face became more pained and she turned over onto her side, her back now facing Inuyasha.

_What…what does she mean? What's she dreaming? _He looked at her back, wishing he could hop onto the bed and take her in his arms, soothing whatever pain she had. _Does she want me to leave her? Am I the one causing her pain…? _He thought sadly, wishing it weren't true. Inuyasha looked at her sleeping figure, and quickly exited the window, knowing she was about to wake up. Kagome turned onto her back and her eyes shot open, blurred with tears.

"What did that mean?" She asked herself. Tears came to her eyes. "It felt so real…" She raised a hand to her cheek, feeling the trail of goose bumps that were left on it. Kagome could still feel the gentle caress of his hands stroking across her cheek, she smiled at the thought. But then she remembered her dream, her smile faded.

_Inuyasha…why can't you let me be? I just want to be happy again…_ Tears fell down her face. Her eyes shifted to the open window when she felt a breeze against her porcelain skin. It was open. But by who?

"Inuyasha?" Kagome threw the covers off of her and stood to look out the window. "You were here weren't you?" She asked him, knowing he wouldn't be able to hear her, "I forgot you could still come through." She rested her elbow on the windowsill and rested her chin on her hand.

00000

sorry it took so long to update folks! i was suffering from writers block. but right now im also working on a songfic with inu and kag with the song bittersweet symphony.

its in the works.

well hope you all enjoyed it! and i've been feeling more like writing lately...so it shouldnt be too long till the next update

thanks for all your reviews: you guys are great


	9. Mondaythen Saturday

Chapter Nine

**Monday...then Saturday**

"Monday." Kagome said out loud as she lied on her back, her hands resting on her slender stomach, and her eyes boring holes through the ceiling. Realizing that the weekend was over and she would have to go to school again.

_I'll have to go all five days now, won't I? Since I won't be going to the feudal era anymore..._ She sighed as sat up and looked out her window. She hadn't gotten any sleep last night after the dream, and saw that Inuyasha had been in her room, stroking her cheek nonetheless. Kagome had tossed and turned all night, looking for comfort but finding nothing after feeling Inuyasha's hand against her skin. It had felt so right, so safe. She kept touching the place where his hand had been, wishing she could feel that same tingling sensation. But the goose bumps were gone, and they weren't coming back.

_I wonder if he'll come back for me...? _A wave of depression enveloped her.

"Why didn't you wake me up Inuyasha? Why didn't you take me..." She whispered to herself, her heart becoming heavy and her stomach twisting and knotting.

_Home? The feudal era…it's my home._ The place she was in now…it wasn't her home. It was different, alien.

"Kagome! Time to get ready for school! Breakfast is almost ready!" Ms.Higurashi yelled from the bottom of the staircase. She waited a moment, hoping Kagome would answer back. Ever since she got back from the feudal era Kagome had been so quiet, she wasn't the happy, perky girl she was the last time she had been home. Something had happened, but her mom didn't know what.

**00000flashback00000**

Kagome landed on her feet as she was transported back to the present day era. She took a deep breath and pulled herself out of the well and walked straight out, never turning to look back. But as soon as she went down the last step of the stairs of the shrine, and was on the ground, she fell to her knees. Her hands were on the ground and she hung her head and started crying, more like sobbing. Black tresses dangled from the ground and covered her face and shoulders. Tears fell down to the floor as more and more cascaded from her brown eyes.

_That's it. I...I can't go back anymore..._

"Why!" Kagome screamed out as she sat on her knees and covered her face in her hands. She sobbed uncontrollably for what seemed like hours. But nobody came to see what was wrong. Everyone was asleep. And everyone else...well everyone else couldn't come to console her. A/N her friends from the feudal era

Kagome opened the backdoor to her house and took off her shoes, putting them to the side. She wiped her eyes and took in a shallow breath A/N you know how after you cry? and your breathings all messed up? well that's what I'm talking about she set her backpack on one of the chairs in the kitchen and dragged herself up to her room. It seemed as if the stairs were 20 times longer since she had last been home. The walk to her room took an eternity. She stopped in front of her room in an almost zombie like state and stared at the door for a while. She didn't want to go in there. She knew what would be waiting for her: memories of Inuyasha, and she knew they would overwhelm her and she would break down again. But where else was she supposed to go? Kagome took in a deep breath, her breathing had returned to normal, and slowly turned the knob to her door and swung it open.

She just stood there. Still outside of her room. Still not wanting to go in. She put one foot forward, then the other, staring straight ahead. Not really realizing what she was doing. Finally, when her feet couldn't take her any further, she stood in front of her window. It was open and the breeze was blowing her across her face.

"Inuyasha." she whispered, the word dripping with sadness and pain.

_You used to come into my room through there. Used to. You won't anymore, will you?_

She shut her eyes tight, trying to force the memories out. She shut the window, forcing Inuyasha out. She let out the breath she had been holding and trudged to her bed. She sat on the edge and faced her desk. She saw her journal lying on top of it. Her expression grew solemn as she thought of her last entry.

**Dear Journal,**

**Inuyasha can be such a jerk sometimes! No, more like all the time. Today he yelled at me because I forgot to bring him ramen. He said I wasn't good for anything. I'm not sure if he's really serious... but I wish he knew how much it hurt me. It really does, even if he doesn't mean it. But not as much as other things. Like Kikyo. I wonder if he still thinks about her...wait, what am I saying? Of course he does. Still...why can't he realize she's dead? She's just an empty shell. And cold. It's like she's not capable of feeling anything but hatred. Yet he loves her. I wish that wicked witch never revived her. Oh…wow. I think I'm going to stop writing. I don't think I meant that, but I can feel myself getting angry. And I don't like to think things like that. It makes me feel...feel so mean.**

It was written the day she had left for the feudal era. The day before they left battle with Kikyo. Kagome tore her gaze from that journal and lay down on her bed, continuing her stare, but focused it on the ceiling. As she lay in her bed she thought of Inuyasha.

_I wonder if he'll miss me...but oh it doesn't matter. I shouldn't be thinking about him. No matter how much I miss him already..._

Suddenly she felt exhausted, the night had wiped her out. She got up and turned the light in her room off. She meant to go back to her bed, but all strength left her body and she leaned against the wall, sliding down into a corner of her room. She pulled her knees to her chest. Her eyes glazed over, but she wasn't crying. She was numb. She didn't feel anything. She didn't think anything. And her eyes stared straight ahead, focusing on the blackness of the room. Nothing could be seen, nothing could be heard. The room was a deafening mix of black and silence.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to feel something. But she couldn't.

Ms.Higurashi walked into the kitchen to wash the dishes and start breakfast, when she saw Kagome's backpack on the chair and her shoes by the door.

_Kagome's back? So soon? _She thought._ She doesn't have any tests coming up..._

"Kagome?" Ms.Higurashi said as she quietly opened the door to Kagome's room. She saw that Kagome was sleeping, still in her school uniform. She walked over and put a hand on her daughter's arm, trying to wake her up. Gently, she shook her. Kagome slowly opened her eyes. Ms.Higurashi's face filled with concern when she saw her daughter's swollen and bloodshot eyes.

_She was crying..._

"Kagome? Are you all right? Why did you come back so soon?" Ms.Higurashi softly asked. Kagome came to her senses and sat up.

"Oh, I just...I came back for a couple days so that I can catch up in school..." Kagome struggled to get out. Lying wasn't one of her talents. Her voice was raspy and her throat hurt, probably from all the crying she had done the previous night.

"All right honey. But just know, if you want to talk I'm here." She smiled and exited Kagome's room, careful not to slam her door. She knew that if Kagome wanted to talk, she would. But if she didn't want to be reminded of whatever happened, she wasn't going to force Kagome to say anything.

Kagome watched as her mom exited her room.

_What am I going to tell her when I don't go back?_ Kagome sighed. The situation was getting more complicated then she thought it would be.

The rest of the day Kagome circulated through the house. From sitting on the couch, staring at the TV but not hearing it or seeing it. To sitting in her room and staring out the window, devoid of any thoughts. She hadn't even really been aware that she had been doing anything; it was like she was in a trance. And it wasn't until 5 o'clock that a thought came into her mind.

Kagome was standing in the middle of her room; when her trance-like stare once again fell upon the journal on her desk. She stared at it for a while, when she remembered something that was in it. For a moment, she was snapped out of her zombie-like state and walked over to her desk; she hesitantly sat in the chair, completely aware of what she was doing. Her hands were slightly trembling at the thought of what she had written in it. She had starting writing in it ever since she had first gone to the Feudal Era. In it, was most everything that had gone on since then. Kagome had written in it every chance she could. With trembling fingers she opened it to a bookmarked page.

**Dear Journal,**

**Today Inuyasha came to get me, but for some stupid reason he decided to come out on the streets without anything to cover his ears. So, when there were people walking by I had to hide him in a photo booth so they wouldn't see him, and I went in with him to make sure he stayed quiet. Unfortunately…Sota was there, and being the sneaky little brother he is, he put money into the photo booth. Inuyasha and me were arguing when the flash went off. It was the cutest thing though! Inuyasha thought it was some sort of attack and tried to protect me from it…but at the time I was annoyed so I yelled at him. While the pictures were being taken. And so…well you see what happened. I think I'm going to put one of them in a locket…and maybe give it to Inuyasha. I know he'll think it's stupid…but maybe it'll help him realize how much I care. I wish I could tell him how I felt, and how cute he is sometimes! Basically all the time. I love his ears when they twitch! It's the cutest thing!**

The bookmark on the page had been the pictures taken in the booth. Kagome gently lifted them in her hand, a smile tugging at the sides of her lips. She cherished that day. And what followed after…when Inuyasha was being taken over by his demon side, and Kagome kissed him to bring him back to his sense. It was her first kiss, and it was wonderful to her. She had told him she loved him as a hanyou. Since then, neither of them had said anything about it, and things went on normally. It hurt her that Inuyasha pretended like it never happened. She sadly realized how nothing like that would happen again. No more special moments with Inuyasha, where she felt like all traces of Kikyo were gone.

_Never again…_ Kagome sadly thought. She put the bookmark back and closed her journal. She slipped it into a drawer, so she wouldn't have to be faced by it anymore. Tears formed in her eyes, and she let them fall. It was the first time all day she had felt anything. But it was sadness. She would rather feel nothing than this sadness and pain…and longing. The tears stopped, and Kagome's eyes glazed over again, locking away all her tears and feelings, sending her into another hypnotic period.

**00000endflashback00000**

"Bye, Mom!" Kagome yelled out as she walked through the door with her backpack. She hadn't eaten breakfast; lately she had been losing her appetite. Ms.Higurashi ran to the door as Kagome was exiting their property.

"Kagome! Come eat some breakfast!" Her mother yelled after her, but Kagome had turned the corner, pretending not to hear her.

**00000**

Ok ok ok! I'm gonna be less depressing from now on and write fluffy stuff.

I'm determined. Yeah. But uh…I still dunno where im going with this story XD

But I realized I hadn't shown what Kagome had done once she got back so…

Another chapter is in the works, I've got the outline, just gotta write it.

Reviews! Yeah!

Anyways. Thanks for your lovely reviews! They always make my day better :D

And trust me. It's nice for my days to be better.

But I forgot the point of my A/N….

Oh yeah! Well for one I don't own Inuyasha…damn it! and! The diary entry with the pictures is about the second Inuyasha movie. Sorry I did a sucky writing of the entry, but It's been a long time since I've seen the movie. Those of you who haven't, it's definitely the best one! You should watch it on I feel like I advertise for youtube, but it is an awesome site. I get my much-needed helpings of fruits basket from there! Yay!

Anyways…hope you liked my angsty chapter! It'll get more fluffy after this…I hope XD


	10. Sakura Blossoms

Chapter Ten

Sakura Blossoms 

**0000000000000000 **

The school day had ended, and all Kagome had to show for those hours spent at that school was a few doodles on a piece of paper. The day had been hazy, and she couldn't really remember doing anything. She hadn't talked to anybody. Hadn't looked at anybody, at least not while knowing it. Even during lunch she just sort of drifted around. Her mind was busy thinking of other things…mostly whether or not Inuyasha would once again come for her, or just leave her behind.

"Kagome! Wait up!" Yuka yelled as she ran after Kagome, Eri and Ayumi trailing behind her. Kagome was picking up the pace, desperate to get away from her nosy friends. No doubt they were going to know something was wrong, and were going to bug her until she told them the whole story. But how could she? They didn't even know about her going the Feudal Era, that Inuyasha was a hanyou, and that Inuyasha wasn't even her boyfriend. Though…she had let them think he was…which she realized was a big mistake. She wanted to pour her heart out to her friends, she wanted somebody to tell her its ok, that she would be ok, and that things would get better. But…how could she?

"Kagome! Jeez, you couldn't stop power walking for a second? We practically had to sprint to catch up to you!" Eri panted as she fell into pace with Kagome. She slowed down, starting to feel bad for being like that with her friends.

"Sorry, guess I was just thinking." Kagome said as she continued walking home with her friends.

"Kagome, what's wrong? You've been looking totally depressed today! But you don't seem sick…I know! Did something happen with your boyfriend, Inu…Inuyasha?" Ayumi asked, for a fleeting moment forgetting Kagome's "boyfriend's" name. Kagome stopped in her tracks, casting her gaze to the floor.

_Ugh! There's just no getting away from him!_

"He's…not…my boyfriend…" Kagome said through clenched teeth, feeling anger swell inside her, with a tinge of embarrassment.

_How could I let them think he was my boyfriend? God I'm so dumb sometimes. Well he sure did act like he was my boyfriend whenever Kouga was around…but never mind that! I've just gotta get away from them._

"WAIT! SO YOU GUYS BROKE UP?"

"WHO BROKE UP WITH WHO?"

"OH MY GOD KAGOME HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US? SO WHAT'S THE DEAL? COME ON COME ON SCOOP!" Yuka and Eri both excitedly yelled, while Ayumi just patiently waited for Kagome to say something.

"Ok! OK! Argh. He's…not my boyfriend…and he never was really." Kagome said, her face flushing in embarrassment. Her friend's jaws dropped in surprise.

"W-WHAAAT? But he's so protective of you! And so jealous! I thought for sure he was like in love with you!" Eri said as she stood in front of Kagome, trying to look her in the eyes, but Kagome was avoiding her gaze.

Kagome sighed. Slightly frustrated at where this was going, and worn out from all the stress her situation was already putting on her.

"He's only jealous because he's that kind of guy…it's not anything special towards me. And…he's…kind of in love with someone else. So, I've just decided to stay away from him." She said as she twirled her hair in her fingers, looking fascinated by it. Kagome was surprised at how easily she said that, without even breaking down or tears swelling in her eyes. She…didn't feel anything. Anger. Sadness. Envy. Happiness. Nothing.

"Oh Kagome, I'm so sorry…are…are you…in love with him?" Ayumi cautiously asked, hoping Kagome would truthfully answer. All three of her friends figured that's why Kagome was in such a daze, but they wanted to know to what extent her feelings for Inuyasha went.

Kagome stopped twirling her hair around her finger, her raven hair still tangled around it, and looked up at her friend's sympathetic eyes.

Nothing.

"No…I don't think so. I guess I just liked him is all." She said, her voice never betraying what she said. Inside, inside she knew she loved him deeply. But she just wanted to forget. Forget everything about the Feudal Era. Everything just hurt her. So wouldn't it be better if she just tucked away her love for Inuyasha away until it just faded away? And then…she could be happy.

Even though once again, she felt nothing, it didn't surprise her this time. That was how she wanted it. That way the pain couldn't reach her.

"Good! That way you can easily get over that jerk! Gosh, who does he think he is jerking you around like that?" Yuka said, anger burning in her eyes. "Come on, Kagome! We're gonna treat you to a second lunch!" She said as she pulled Kagome by the arm, storming down the sidewalk. Eri and Ayumi followed.

Kagome just let herself be pulled, she felt like being with her friends. She missed them, she really had. Being in the Feudal Era, she didn't get to see them much.

_Well at least now, I can spend more time with my friends. _

She let a small smile tug at the side of her lips.

**000000**

"Inuyasha!" He turned around; he was in Kagome's era, and in a park. It was really green, and there were sakura blossoms littering the air. He saw Kagome standing next to a big water fountain, the air swaying her hair across her cheeks and shoulders. She smiled at him, and he felt himself smiling too. Looking at her, her hair flowing and the sakura blossoms twirling around her, he thought she looked like a goddess. Untouchable.

"Inuyasha! Are you coming? Come on!" She held out her hand, it looked so near but so far away. He started running towards her, reaching his hand out to touch hers, he wanted to feel her so bad. So close, so close, his hand was just inches from hers, but he wasn't getting any closer. He felt himself coming closer, but Kagome going farther away.

"Why are you taking so long Inuyasha?" Kagome asked sadly, letting her hand fall next to her side. Her eyes swelled with tears and she turned around, walking away.

"Kagome! Kagome! Wait! COME BACK!" He yelled, trying to run after her, but he wasn't getting any further. He couldn't stop her, and all he could do was watch as her delicate figure was disappearing into the sakura blossoms.

"Please come back Kagome…! I-I LOVE YOU! I…I love you!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, dropping to his knees, desperate to make her stay.

"I…love you?" He whispered to himself. Inuyasha's eyes lifted from the ground to look at Kagome, but he saw nothing. Only sakura blossoms swirling in the wind.

**0000000**

Inuyasha woke up in a sweat; he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

"What in the hell did that mean?" He said to himself. Inuyasha looked around Kaede's hut, seeing everyone soundly asleep.

_What? What did that mean…I can't love her…can I?_

"No way!" He said as he crossed his arms against his chest. Deciding it was just a stupid dream. But the image of her walking away kept flashing in his mind, causing him frustration.

_Still…I do miss having her around… _His thoughts crossed to what happened the last night. _What did she mean?…Argh why doesn't anything make sense anymore? _He furrowed his brows in frustration. _Am I some sort of nuisance to her? Causing her pain? But…I don't mean to! That's the last thing I want to do… _

He hated it when she was sad, unhappy, in pain…and he wanted to rip apart whoever did it. But what could he do when it was himself inflicting that horrible pain?

_Goddamn it! But I still don't know what I even did! I hate this. It's tearing me apart. Does that mean…that I love Kagome? _

Inuyasha stood up and grabbed his Tetsusaiga. He pushed the bamboo flap out of the way and walked outside. And he kept on walking until he reached the Thousand Year Tree. The whole time, he was walking. He almost never walked…he always ran, never thinking. But now he had so many thoughts, and every time he tried to sort them out he was just left more confused.

He walked up the tree, his favorite tree, though nobody knew it, and put a hand against its bark, the place where he had been sealed away for fifty years. His lips twitched slightly and formed a small smile. This was where he and Kagome first met.

It was weird.

Usually, the first thing that would come to mind would be Kikyo whenever he was around the tree…but not now, not this time.

_I…really do love Kagome. _That must be it. That's the reason he feels so empty when she's gone. That's the reason he wants to kill whoever causes her the slightest of misery. That's the reason he can't stand of another guy to be with her. That's why…it was so clear now.

**0000000**

welll...semi-fluffy? eh?

XD hehe well i haven't been in a good mood lately

stuff just sucks. so it was hard not to write more depressing stuff...

but i've sorta got an idea of what im gonna make happen

but hope you enjoyed!

and SUPER SORRY for the waitt! well if you were ancy :


	11. Optimism

Chapter Eleven

**Optimism**

**0000000000**

"Ok Kagome, so spill. What's the WHOLE story with you and Inuyasha? I've got a feeling you haven't told us everything." Yuka said. Kagome, Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi were sitting in their usual boot at WacDonald's, munching on French-fries and drinking sodas. Kagome put down her soda and looked over at Yuka, slightly peeved with her nosiness. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.

"Look Yuka, I just don't feel like talking about it. It's still a sore subject." She said, picking her soda back up for another sip. Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka all looked at Kagome with wide eyes.

"PLEEEEEEEASE?" They all asked, giving their best puppy dog eyes, with their hands clasped and in voices sweet enough to give Kagome a toothache. She rolled her eyes.

"All right all right! Sheesh, I'm to good to you guys…" Kagome gave in, not being able to resist those faces. But maybe she did feel like talking about it. They were her friends, she should be telling them this stuff. It was a lot better than letting it toil inside of her.

_Granted…I can't tell them the whole story…_ Kagome glumly thought. It was tedious to have to make up lies to cover up for the Feudal Era, she always had to be careful that something wouldn't slip out to make her friends suspicious.

"YAYYYY!" They all exclaimed, throwing their hands in the air from excitement. This stuff really was quite thrilling for them. Kagome took a sip of her soda and set it down, taking in a deep breath. Her friends sat their elbows on the table, setting their chins on their hands. They were all ready to listen.

"Ok…so here goes. When I first met Inuyasha he thought I was this girl Kikyo, which was totally annoying cause he wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. Then when he figured out I wasn't he said something really rude like me not being as pretty as her or something. So anyways for some reason I had to be around him a lot and it was like he couldn't be nice to save his life, he was super rude. But I guess eventually he grew on me, and apparently I grew on him cause he learned how to use my name…but anyways I started to like him more and more…and the more I think about it, the more I think that I'm in love with him. Maybe. I think. It's confusing. But anyway before that, I found out that the girl who he thought I was, Kikyo, and him had this long history. Apparently they were totally in love, but then somebody came between them and broke their trust. So they were apart for a while, and I met him in the time that they were apart. But after a while they saw each other again, and I guess you could say Inuyasha hadn't let go of his feelings. But Kikyo obviously had, she practically despises him. Why can't he see that! I don't get it…and so it sucked to be around that. Whenever we ran into Kikyo he would go off into his own little world. And I just get so jealous! And I hate it! I'm always being compared to her, and I feel like I fall short…. really short. That's why I'm not seeing him ever again. It was just too much. I felt rejected…but the thing I don't get is why he would get so jealous whenever Kouga was around! Why would he get jealous of him? Oh yeah! Kouga's this guy who said he's in love with me, which I don't think he actually is, I just think he thinks he is. I don't like him in that way though…but whenever we run into each other he tries to "woo" me, and Inuyasha gets jealous, to say in the least…" Kagome rambled for a while, staring at her hands that were wrapped around her soda, not really realizing how long she was talking for. Her friends just sat there with their mouths open, taking a while to comprehend all the information Kagome had babbled about. She looked up at her friends after she finished, feeling the silence. Kagome met their wide eyes, and smiled goofily.

"Sorry! Gosh that must not have made any sense…" She laughed, slightly embarrassed. Eri was the first to snap back to reality.

"Wait, wait, wait, so let me get this straight…you love Inuyasha, Inuyasha loves Kikyo, and that Kouga guy loves you? God sounds like you're living in a soap opera!" She said, her eyes still as wide as plates.

"Wow, I wish somebody would woo me…" Ayumi said dreamily, her eyes becoming distant, as she seemed to go into a daydream.

"Well it's something like that…I guess. It's more complicated. I think." Kagome said in response to Yuka, becoming unsure of just how complicated or how simple it was.

_I probably shouldn't have told them all that…_ She scolded herself in her mind as she ate a French fry. Her appetite was finally returning, maybe she was already starting to heal.

"Oh Kagome…I'm so sorry! Now I understand why you looked so sad today…" Ayumi had snapped out of her daydream. She rested a sympathetic hand on Kagome's shoulder, not knowing what else to do to comfort her dear friend. Eri and Yuka nodded in agreement, thinking of a way to portray their sympathy. Kagome sighed.

"Thanks…but I'll be fine! Really! It's just one guy right? There's plenty more in the sea." Kagome plastered on another fake smile, waving her hand in front of her face, trying not to worry her friends. They all exchanged glances, noticing how forced Kagome's smile was. It worried them that it took effort for Kagome to look happy, it always came so easily to her.

"I know! We should have a sleepover! But wait…It's Monday…well then this weekend we'll do it! A girl's nigh our, so we can find you a guy that's ten times better, Kagome. You deserve it! And it'll be fun, we can go to a teen club and then back to one of our houses to binge, it'll be the perfect night!" Yuka smiled at her. Kagome smiled back, a real smile. She laughed at the idea.

"Yeah! That'll be great!" Eri and Ayumi said, excited with the idea.

"Thanks Yuka! That sounds like a lot of fun…but for now I think I'm just going to go home, thanks for buying me lunch, err second lunch, guys! I'll see you tomorrow?" She said as she slid out of the booth. Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi all said bye and waved her off with big smiles, still slightly concerned about Kagome.

"Bye!" Kagome waved to her friends as she walked out the door, putting her backpack on. She looked at the sky as she was walking home. The bright sun made her eyes water, forcing her to look back down at the ground.

_I…feel a lot better. It's like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. It felt good just to talk about it I guess…even though I couldn't give them the whole story…_

**000000**

_Ok…I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it…_

Inuyasha forcefully pushed himself into the well, but before he could be transported, he scrambled to catch the frame with his hands. His arm muscles tensed as he pulled himself out of the well to sit on its ledge. His feet were dangling in the empty air of the well. His face contorted in aggravation.

_Damn it! Why is this so hard?_ Inuyasha yelled at himself, disappointed with another failed attempt of going to get Kagome. It was one of many; he had been doing basically the same thing all morning…because of last night. What would he say to her when he got there? Now that he knew how he felt about her…

"Keh! Why should I be so nervous? This is stupid!" HE tried to reassure himself as he slowly inched his self down into the well once again. But he kept his hands on the ledge, allowing him to dangle there, dangerously close to being transported out of his era and into Kagome's.

I can't do it… 

"I'm gonna do it!" He yelled, his grip on the ledge tightening.

It's too weird…what am I gonna say? 

"I can DO IT!" Inuyasha yelled even louder.

I CAN'T! 

"ARGH! I'M GONNA DO IT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, his fingers finally unclenching the wood frame, allowing himself to free fall down into the well.

**000000**

Inuyasha stood in front of the well in Kagome's era. His feet not moving, his heart racing a million beats a second. Inuyasha slowly slid open the door of the shrine, just enough to stick his head out and look around. Kagome was walking towards her house; she had just entered through the gate. She was looking at the ground as she walked, holding her backpack straps. Her hair was hanging down, blocking Inuyasha's view of her face. The wind picked up a little, blowing her hair from her face, and Inuyasha could see a single tear rolling down her cheek. Kagome raised her hand and wiped it off, never taking her eyes off the ground.

_She looks so sad…_ Inuyasha thought, his heart started racing even more at the sight of Kagome. He continued watching her as she kept walking towards her house, it seemed like her steps were getting slower.

_Why does she look like that? Is she still upset about what happened before? But that was three days ago…_ Inuyasha put one foot forward, intending to go right up to her, but he couldn't force his other foot forward. Besides, he still had no idea of what he was going to say to her.

**000000**

Kagome walked through the gate to her house, the feeling of not belonging at her own home weighed down on her.

_It's still so weird…why do I have to get used to my own house?_ She thought, reluctant to go back into her house. It felt like she didn't belong there.

_I wish I could go back to the Feudal Era…no! No, I can't be thinking like that…but I miss them so much already…_ All her friend's faces flashed through her mind, and knowing that she wouldn't be able to see them ever again brought tears to her eyes.

_I can't keep doing this…I have to stop crying._ She wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheek with the back of her hand.

_I wonder…_ Kagome stopped walking.

**000000**

Inuyasha stepped his foot back, closing the door a little so that he was watching Kagome with just one eye. She had stopped walking, and he was afraid that she has somehow felt someone watching her. Her raven tresses blew in the wind, and he felt his fingers twitch. He felt an urge to run his fingers through her hair, feel her soft skin, he wanted to feel her in his arms…but so many things were stopping him.

His rapidly beating heart skipped a beat when he saw Kagome's eyes shift over to the shrine, right where he was standing. Those eyes made him feel like he was frozen in time. And he was frozen, for a second. But then he regained his senses and stepped back, more like stumbled backwards until he practically tripped over the well. Inuyasha gripped the sides of the well; he was leaning against it with his back. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and he the feeling was making him pant.

_Why am I so nervous?_ He asked himself. Inuyasha kept picturing the image of Kagome standing there with her hair swaying in the wind, looking over with her eyes so full of sadness. They were so sad… Inuyasha thought of his revelation last night, of his love for Kagome. Is that what this was? Obviously some sort of strong feeling had to be going on with Inuyasha to make him like this. Inuyasha turned to face the well, his heart ready to burst out of his chest. He quickly put one hand on the ledge and pushed himself in.

_I can't face her like this…_

**000000**

Kagome looked over at the shrine, the shrine she had avoided thinking about, looking at, and going into for the past three days. But she was being drawn to it at last. She couldn't help but wonder. Could she?

_Maybe I could…maybe just to see them…for a little bit. To visit…_ She thought, hope fluttering up in her stomach like a lone butterfly.

She stared at the shrine, noticing that the door was slightly open. Kagome absent mindedly stared at it, until she saw a flash of movement. She could've swore she saw flash of movement…of red movement…

_Red?_

"Inuyasha!" Kagome unconsciously breathed out. Before she even realized what she was doing, her feet carried her at full speed to the shrine, dropping her backpack on the way. She was running at full intensity, the little tiniest chance of being able to see him pumped adrenalin through her veins. Kagome climbed up the stairs to shrine as fast as she could, tripping over one of them but regaining her momentum. She threw open the sliding doors, panting from how fast she had been running.

Nothing.

There was nothing there. Nothing except for the damned well that sat before her.

"Of course." Kagome bitterly chuckled, dropping her arms to her sides. She walked forward, disgusted at how hopeful she had been. The butterfly in her stomach had vanished, without a trace. Her eyes wandered over the inside of the shrine. It felt like she hadn't been there in years. She ran her hand against the wood of the well, it was old and rough, but it felt good to her. It was her connection to the Feudal Era, or at least it used to be.

_I wonder if he really was here…? Or maybe I'm just going crazy…but still, why hasn't he come to get me yet? Does he not want me back?_ Tears once again came to Kagome's eyes; the all too familiar and terrible feeling came creeping up on her again. The feeling of being about to break down. She hated that feeling.

"No! I can't do this! I can't keep be…being this pathetic!" She screamed out at herself, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to make the tears go away. But they were so persistent. A few tears rolled down her cheeks, much to her dismay. She looked over at the well.

_I wonder…_ Kagome thought again, she remembered why she had come to the shrine in the first place. The hope that Inuyasha had come to rescue her had distracted her.

_Could it work…without the shards? Please, please! Work…_ She prayed in her mind, giving in to the hope again. Her stomach became knots, all of a sudden she felt incredibly nervous. She put her hands on the frame of the well, it felt like forever. Forever ago that she had been there. It had only been three days. But forever, that's exactly what it felt like to her.

_…But what if I can? What then? What would I do…_ She stared down into the inky blackness of the ancient well. Kagome contemplated what could happen if she went back, but all she saw was the same thing happening as before: Inuyasha an Kikyo, together. All those times before, the same thing would happen. And she wouldn't be able to handle it. But…

" I just want to say goodbye…I didn't get to. And I miss them so much already!" She whispered, raising a knee onto the frame, still debating whether or not she really wanted to go. She knew that she wanted to, but she didn't know if it would make her better or worse. Worse, that's what she felt would happen.

"Inuyasha.." Kagome unknowingly whispered his name. The urge to see him grew inside of her. She just wanted to look at him one last time. She wanted to be able to look at his strong body, his adorable fuzzy ears…and his beautiful face. She wanted him to protect her again, from all the pain.

"Inuyasha!" She sad, pushing her self down into the well.

000000A/N000000

yay! i finally put up another chapter!

i think this is my favorite chapter. dunno why. but hooray for another chapter!

hope you guys liked it )

and i've got a week break coming up after next week so i hope to put up two new chapters during that week

oh i redid the first couple chapters! if you wanna go read em...


	12. Angry Fists and That One Kiss

Chapter Twelve

_Angry fists and that one kiss_

**0000000000**

Thud.

That was the sound that could be heard throughout the shrine when Kagome's body made contact with the floor of the well.

_It…didn't work?_ Kagome sat on the ground, her legs spread out in front of her, her back against the wall of the well. She just sat there, dumbstruck, not really knowing what to think about what just happened. But as she stared at the wall opposite her, the full weight of the situation hit her.

"I…I really can't go back…" She whispered, finally believing it. There was no denying it now. Before she had actually attempted to go back, there was that tiny little thought in the back of her mind- the one telling her that she could always go back if she **really** wanted to, which she did. She really, really did. With all her heart and being, that's what she wanted the most. She wanted it so desperately, to see her friends again, to see Inuyasha again. Kagome wanted to feel his hand against her cheek, feel his warmth. But, she couldn't. And she never would be able to again…unless…he came to get her. Which Kagome could tell he wouldn't be doing. He'd already been there twice, but he hadn't taken her back with him. Tears started flowing out of Kagome's eyes, and this time she didn't even try to hold them back. This was the only comfort she could get, by crying out her sorrows. But in the end, it made her feel emptier still.

"WHY?" Kagome choked out, the word triggering her to start sobbing. She pulled her knees to her chest, pressing her back farther onto the wall. Her arms wrapped around her legs, keeping them tight to her chest, and she rested her forehead on her knees. Kagome looked so…lost. The tears were streaming down, like two glistening rivers never ending, but her sobs weren't like the other time. She was crying quietly, real crying, real sorrow… real regret.

_Why did I have to leave? Why! I could have stayed… I SHOULD have stayed! Ohh…_ Kagome regretted leaving, so, so much. She thought it was going to be much easier than this…but she hadn't counted on Inuyasha coming. That was just too much to take, it was like a tease. It's there, you just can't have it. The regret was unbearable.

"Please! Please just take me back! PLEASE!" Kagome screamed. Her sobs had grown from quiet, to hysterical. She released her hands from around her legs to claw the ground, taking dirt in her hands.

"WORK!" She yelled, the dirt she had in her hand, growing angry at the well. Kagome stood up and walked over to the wall opposite her. Her legs and clothes were covered in dirt, but she hadn't bothered to wipe any of it off.

"WHY WON'T YOU WORK? PLEASE! WORK! TAKE HOME! Take me home…" Kagome screamed over and over again, pounding her fists against the wall of the well. Her hands started to get scratched from the rough wood, and she could feel blood seeping out. It didn't even hurt. She couldn't feel any pain coming from the collision of her hands against the wood, it didn't even hurt. The blood didn't stop her; she just kept thrashing her hands against the wood. It made her feel better. It was her release.

"Damn it, work! I WANT TO GO BACK! I NEED TO! I NEED TO SEE HIM! PLEASE, I WANT TO SEE INUYASHA AGAIN! Please…" Kagome couldn't accept it, she couldn't believe the fact that she would never go back, couldn't. Her fists started to pulsate; the pain was starting to catch up to her. She sobbed; the rivers were still flowing fast. The pounds against the wood started to slow, and eventually they stopped. She slid down onto the floor with her back against the wood, closing her eyes as her sobs became quieter, but more pained. Her vision grew blurry as she raised her hands to look at them; they were already beginning to bruise. There were a lot of scratches, and most of them were bleeding. Kagome still wanted to be furiously hammering her hands against the damned well, but she could feel the pain now. She cradled herself in her arms, seeking the comfort of someone's arms. Tears fell through her eyelashes, traveling from her flushed cheeks down to the dirt of the well.

_Why can't it work for me? _

**000000**

Inuyasha fell onto his hands and knees by the well; he had practically stumbled out of it. What had happened on the other side of the mysterious well had triggered something in him, and he had no idea of what it was. He felt nervous, and because of that obnoxious feeling his heart was threatening to jump right out of his chest. Inuyasha sat up and crossed his legs, picking away at the bright green grass as he thought about what he should do about his situation. He couldn't very well do nothing, could he?

_I really want to see her…but the feeling just won't go away. It's like I'm nervous, but about what? Its just Kagome. Nothing's changed…well except for my dream the other night… Is it because I realized that I love her? Wait wait wait, I still don't even know if I do. It's just too weird…_

"Still." Inuyasha said to himself, knowing that the thing he wanted the most right now was to go and see her. He wanted to tell her how he felt, or at least how he thought he felt. It was all still confusing to him, but he knew he had to tell her something.

"I wonder if she still feels the same…" Inuyasha whispered, as he remembered when Kagome had told him that she loved him, as a half-demon. And then, she had kissed him. He cherished that kiss; the feeling of Kagome's soft pink lips against his own was a feeling he would never, ever forget. Though, he would never let anybody know that, not even Kagome. His feeling of nervousness was dwindling away as he reminisced about that day. To be honest, he rarely thought about it, willing himself to push it away into the back of his mind. Never to be thought of again, but it always surfaced against his will. Inuyasha had convinced himself that Kagome hadn't meant what she said, that everything she had done was just to keep him from becoming a full-fledged demon, and in turn killing anybody in his path. The proclamation of love, the kiss she had planted on him, he willed himself to believe it didn't matter. But he couldn't do that anymore.

_But…if she does…and I tell her…what would she say? Could we be…happy?_ He imagined himself holding her in his arms, and her arms wrapped around him in return. It would make him so happy, to love, and be loved in return. For somebody he loved to no longer be, untouchable.

_What if she doesn't feel that way anymore though…it's been more than half a year. And I never said anything about it, maybe she's forgotten all about it too. How could I be so stupid!_ He pounded the floor with his fist, feeling frustrated with the thought of his chance with Kagome slipping out of his hands. It was like a ribbon of silk flowing out of his hand, riding away with the wind never to be found again. His eyes shifted from the hole his hand had left in the ground, to the well.

_Maybe I still do have a chance…_ Inuyasha thought, as he stood up and stood in front of the well. Inuyasha stood there for a while, just staring down into the darkness of the well. Just thinking of what would happen if he actually did go and tell Kagome how he felt, it made his knees go weak, and a new wave of nervousness wash over him. But the nervousness had a tinge of hope, of optimism. Maybe, just maybe…she would.

Inuyasha put his hands on the frame, clutching it tightly. It felt as if it would just disappear if he let go of it for even a second.

"But what if…she doesn't?" Inuyasha asked himself, allowing his fingers to release their vice grip from around the frame. The possibility of her rejecting him dawned on him, and he removed his hands completely from the well.

_If I don't tell her…what then? Could I get over her? _Inuyasha realized how hard it would be to act as if everything was normal if he didn't tell her. He'd have to pretend that he didn't care about the night he was Kagome in Kouga's arms, that he didn't feel empty when she was back in her era, that he didn't savor every single touch between them…and that he didn't love her. Inuyasha turned around and started walking towards the village, but then turned back around, his eyes looking indecisive. Before he let himself change his mind, he ran towards the well and jumped right into its black depths.

**000000A/N000000**

sooo soo long! im evil! im so so sorry

i've...been having a weird life lately. and i've been trying to write. and then i did...and it was really short...and probably not satisfying...but there it is. im sorry i made you wait so long! but uhm i've already got ideas for the next chapter. and it shouldnt be too long before it comes out

but oh yeah, on the last chapter, when kagome was telling her friends about inuyasha and stuff... i meant for that to be rambled and hard to understand, cause i pictured her talking really really fast, you know? so sorry it was confusing, but that's how i meant for it to be.

reviews!

yeah!


	13. I Miss You

Chapter 13

_I Miss You_

**0000000000**

Kagome had her head on her knees, her back against the wall as she sobbed from the reality of not being able to go back to the Feudal Era. Her hair was a mess, and dirt was covering her legs and clothes. She didn't even care, it made her feel better. Like she deserved to look like that, dirty, Kagome raised her head as she noticed a blue light surrounding the inside of the well, the way it used to whenever she would travel between the two eras. The blue light became blinding, and she had to shield her eyes with her hand.

"What?" The words escaped her mind through words, barely becoming a whisper.

_What is going on?_ The light dimmed just enough for her to lower her hand. As she watched the blue light become dimmer and dimmer, a silhouette of a person started to become clearer. Kagome's eyes widened as the light cleared, it was him. The person she would give anything in the world to see again. Him.

"Inu…Inuyasha?" There he stood, Inuyasha looked just as she had left him. His long silver hair was still vibrant, and still gave Kagome the urge to run her fingers through it. His body was as tempting as ever, and his eyes made Kagome melt…but the only difference was that his eyes held deep sadness in them, more than before. She had only been gone for less than a week, but it felt like she had traveled to the moon and back, all alone.

_Is this really happening?_ Kagome thought, looking up at the tall figure before her. Inuyasha stood in front of her, staring at her in shock. He had hardly expected to find her in the well, nonetheless crying and covered in dirt. Kagome wiped the tears from her eyes; the sight of him had ceased her sobbing, but caused her heart to beat rapidly. It was the most feeling she had felt in the past week. But she suddenly realized that her hair was a mess, her hands were bloody, and she was covered in dirt. Kagome felt her face turn red from embarrassment; she hadn't wanted him to see her like that.

"Why are you here?" Kagome asked between shallow breaths, not having recovered from her sobbing. She stood up, her body was but inches away from Inuyasha's, even with her back pressed against the wall of the well. She felt her heart beat faster as she looked at him, dangerously close. Her eyes were locked in his; Inuyasha's locked in hers. It made her so happy to see him again, she could feel the depression she had felt wash away completely with just one look from his amber eyes.

_Don't just stand there looking stupid, say something! _Inuyasha scolded himself in his mind. He opened his mouth to answer Kagome's question, but quickly closed it again. His mind was a complete mess; she had caught him completely off guard. Inuyasha didn't know what to say, he couldn't think of any words to express what he was feeling. Just the sight of Kagome was making him weak in the knees, even with her hair a mess and her clothe covered in dirt…she was beautiful. Staring at her was making it all the harder to stand, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. This was the one time that he could stare without guilt, after missing her so much.

Inuyasha grabbed Kagome by the shoulders, as if to make sure she was really there. He looked deeper into her dark brown eyes, and hesitated to say something, but instead pull her into his embrace. It was his first instinct, and it felt so good, so good to be holding her like that, the real thing, not a dream. He felt like he hadn't seen her in an eternity, and to feel her this close, this real…it was mind-blowing.

Kagome's eyes widened as she felt her body being pulled towards Inuyasha's, and his arms wrap around her small frame. She melted into his body, it was just so overwhelming. Kagome never thought Inuyasha would embrace her like this again. It was real…not a dream, real. She could feel his strong arms around her body, she could smell him, but it felt so unreal, too good to be true. His embrace made her feel protected, loved even. It was the best feeling in the world for her. Kagome released the breath that she had unknowingly been holding and lifted her arms to put them around Inuyasha's torso in return and her head against his chest. They felt like the only two people in the world, and it was heaven for them.

"Why…why were you crying, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, being finally able to muster up a sentence. He inhaled her scent, her wonderful, familiar smell. It made all feel right with the world. Kagome felt tears come to her eyes, as she remembered why she had been crying not too long ago. The astonishment of Inuyasha coming and embracing her like that had made her completely forget about her troubles. The tears that were now rolling down her rosy cheeks weren't of despair, but of relief, and sheer joy, the best tears. She was so relieved that Inuyasha came through the well, it gave her hope that maybe she could go home again. It made her so unspeakably happy, and overwhelmed, that Inuyasha came to get her, that the only thing she could do was cry. It felt so right.

"I…I thought I couldn't go back…home. I thought I could never see you again, Inuyasha." Kagome whispered, releasing her arms from around his torso to rest them against Inuyasha's chest, so now he was truly just embracing Kagome, holding her in his arms. Kagome was cherishing the feeling of his warmth and gentle, but strong embrace. It almost made her forget why she had left in the first place.

"I thought…that was what you wanted, to never see me again." Inuyasha whispered, the words carrying a feeling of sadness with them. He felt his heart tug at his words; it hurt to think that way. Kagome pushed her hands against Inuyasha's chest, loosening his arms so she could look him straight in the eye. She looked so serious, so grave, as if he had just said something wildly inappropriate.

"Never. Inuyasha…I love you." Kagome said, loud and clear, surprising herself with what she had just said. She never thought she would tell him that, Kagome always got so nervous when she even thought about saying it, but as she stared at him, she noticed the nervous feeling had gone away. Her eyes had never left his as she said it, and she was still staring deep into his amber eyes, that looked shocked at what she had just said. She had really meant it, and that left Inuyasha dumbstruck. He had never, ever, thought that Kagome would tell him that. Inuyasha thought that maybe when he told her, she might say that she felt the same way. But for her to take the initiative…he was once again caught completely off-guard. Those words…hearing them from her like that, with such intensity, made all his insecurities drift away. He felt so genuinely…happy.

"I love you too, Kagome." Inuyasha said, the tugging feeling on his heart disappearing. He brought his face closer to hers, putting his hand on the back of her neck, his fingers in her hair. Kagome gasped a little at his words, even though she hoped with all her heart he would feel the same, it was still a shock. Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck as he brought his other hand around her waist to bring her closer, their bodies now pressed against each other. She could feel her lips tingling in anticipation; it was taking so long, their movements seemed to be in slow motion. She closed her eyes as Inuyasha pressed his lips against hers, in the kiss that they had both been waiting an eternity for. Heaven, it felt like they were in heaven. Inuyasha pressed her closer against him as their kiss became more passionate, both becoming more intoxicated with each other's kiss. Kagome never wanted to stop kissing him, it was the most incredible feeling in the world, and knowing that he loved her in return…it was just incredible. She pulled away from Inuyasha's eager lips, having become short of breath. Kagome bit her lips, the tingling feeling had only grown stronger, she was eager for another kiss.

"I missed you." Inuyasha said as he pulled her back in for another kiss.

**0000000000**

how's that for fluffy, eh? Eh?

Well tell me what you think. Fluff isn't my specialty, im better at the more depressing stuff, as you already know if you read the whole story.

But anyways! I know apologize everytime for the long wait…but I am sorry!! oh my gosh, i had been trying to upload this stinking chapter since saturday!! three freaking days ago! and it wouldnt work. it was so annoying. but anyways.

I wrote this whole chapter in one day! Well this is the final of it. I had a rough draft too.

It was just one of those weird days where all of sudden I get really inspired and start writing like no other

Don't you love those days???? Well anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

More to come soon

p.s,

reviews always brighten my day!


	14. Ink

Chapter Fourteen

**Ink**

**0000000000**

Her eyes looked dead. If it weren't for the rising and lowering of her chest, any person to see Kagome would have taken her for a corpse. Dead. She was eerily still, perhaps from the shock and distress of what had just happened. Lying on her back, in that same well, she was empty. That same well; where she and Inuyasha had confessed their love for each other, sharing an amazing kiss that she would never forget the feeling of. How could a well that held so much happiness for her, hold so much sadness and pain also?

The arrow protruding from her left shoulder made her corpse-like appearance look all the more real. Crimson blood completely covered her shoulder, and was, in a snail-like fashion, spreading to her chest. A puddle of her blood was expanding on the well floor, drenching the dirt on the floor of the well. The combination of her appearance and the arrow coming from her chest would create a haunting image for anyone who would happen to see her, especially if they were to see her chest still rising. They would see a girl, dead in all respects except for the slow beating of her heart, her body slowly being covered in blood

Not an ounce of pain was felt by the miko. Not a single emotion coursed through her body. Not a thought went through her mind. It was a total blank. And that's how she was trying to keep it. Otherwise the earlier moments could, and would, creep into her memory, like ink spreading on a bed sheet, staining her mind through her memories. Those memories were awful, wretched, and oh so depressing. If her mind wandered but for a moment, the ink would spread. The only way to keep the puddle of ink from spreading would be to keep her mind from going over those horrible moments. The ink. If the ink were to spread, it could eventually fade, after years and years of being stained. The only way to see it would be to know that it was once there. But Kagome would never be the same, and she would always be stained from those memories. Those thoughts would be the darkest black, shrouding her optimism. Forever to be lost by those last moments shared with Inuyasha.

**000000Flashback000000**

Inuyasha felt her hands pull away from his face, and her lips pulling away from his, away from their passionate kiss. But he eagerly trailed after them with his own, not wanting to end the kiss that he had been wanting for so long. His lips connected with hers again, quenching his thirst for Kagome's candy lips.

"Inuyasha." Kagome said, as she firmly placed her hands on his chest to keep him from placing his lips on hers again. She needed a breather; she didn't have the lung capacity that Inuyasha did. Kagome stared deeply into his eyes; hardly believing that all that was happening wasn't a dream. She watched her hand as it traveled up Inuyasha's chest and neck, until it reached his face. She felt his skin underneath her hand, feeling it's unnatural smoothness. Kagome had expected his skin to be rough from all the fighting he did…but it was like a newborn's skin. It made her smile. Her hand caressed his cheek, fully taking advantage of the moment. Kagome had never, ever, thought that Inuyasha would allow her to be this affectionate with her. It was even stranger that he was being affectionate with her, and that he told her…that he loved her.

_He loves me…_Kagome thought, trying to get it through her head that it actually happened, he had actually told her that.

"What is it Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, his hand still around her small waist, and his other on the curve of her back, holding her to him. Kagome snapped out of whatever trance she was in, blushing as she took her hand away from his cheek. She had been absent-mindedly stroking it while she was thinking. But… Inuyasha hadn't stopped her; he didn't seem to mind really. Kagome placed her hand next to her other on Inuyasha's chest again. Her gaze fell to the floor beneath them, finding it hard to keep looking him in the eye. Inuyasha raised Kagome's chin with his hand, looking her in the eye. He was still waiting for an answer to his question.

"I missed you, Inuyasha. The thought…the thought of never being able to see you again…it tore me apart." Inuyasha's eyes widened at what Kagome had just said to him. She looked him straight in the eye, revealing deep sadness that Inuyasha hadn't caught before. Did she really care that much about him, that the thought of never being able to see him again would tear her apart?

"But I thought…that was what you wanted…to never see me again…" Inuyasha said solemnly as he brushed back Kagome's bangs, wanting to see her beautiful eyes more clearly. Kagome could feel herself melting from his gesture.

_Why is he being so affectionate? It's weird; I've never seen this side of him before. It's…really nice. _Kagome thought for a second, before realizing that she hadn't reacted to what Inuyasha just said.

"No! Well…I did, sort of…I guess." Kagome looked down, feeling ashamed with herself. "I thought it would be better for everyone if I just…never came back to the Feudal Era. I thought it would make things easier…for everyone." She whispered. Her hands fell from Inuyasha's chest to tug at the ends of her skirt, suddenly feeling awkward. Tears rimmed her eyes; a ball of shame and relief filling her throat, causing tears to escape the barriers of her eyes. Kagome let out a small, choked sob, the result of her trying so hard not to cry again. She had already cried more than enough, and she especially didn't want to let Inuyasha see her cry. Kagome lowered her head farther to try and conceal her tears from him, but she knew that he could smell them. He wiped away the tears that were slowly trickling down her blushing cheeks.

"Why?" Inuyasha whispered, his eyes looking down at the top of her head with concern. Kagome continued tugging at her skirt, staring at the floor, thinking of what to say to Inuyasha. She took in a shallow breath as she prepared for everything that would spew out of her mouth in following moments.

"Because…I…I just didn't want to be hurt anymore," Kagome whispered, barely audible to normal people, but perfectly clear to the hanyou who held her in his arms. More tears fell down her face and to the ground as she remembered the night she left, and why she left. Kagome backed away from Inuyasha's embrace until she hit the wall, sliding down the wall with her back against it until she hit the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. She suddenly felt wretched, as if the kiss her and Inuyasha had shared wasn't supposed to happen, and she had gone through with it anyways. It was as if she had broken an important promise, which she had. The promise to herself that she would let Inuyasha and everything in the Feudal Era go.

"Did I…hurt you?" Inuyasha cautiously asked, moving down to the floor to sit across from his beloved Kagome, looking intently at her. Finally, he would be able to hear the definite answer from Kagome herself. Kagome lifted her gaze from the floor to Inuyasha's eyes, surprised by how earnest his question was, and by the look of guilt in his eyes. He knew he had hurt her, but he wanted to know why. She drew her legs closer to her and rested the side of her face on her knees, her eyes looking straight at the wall beside her.

"I didn't want to have to see you with Kikyo." Kagome said, vaguely answering Inuyasha's question. "I didn't want to have to see the way you look at her, the way you hold her…or the way you feel about her. She seems so special to you Inuyasha, and I didn't want to get in the way of that. But I didn't want to have to just stand by and watch, either. Or try to compete for your affection…because even though I knew it was wrong to try and break up what the two of you have…I still wanted to. Which really freaked me out, just the thought of wanting to do something so…wretched. I was torn. And it hurt so much…I just wanted to get away…" Kagome continued staring at the wall when she finished, not wanting to see Inuyasha's reaction to what she had just said. Granted, she expected the long silence that ensued because Kikyo was so special to Inuyasha, but she still wished he would say something. The information that she had just let out of her system was probably enough to keep Inuyasha thinking for weeks, and enough to make him think about what he was doing there, with Kagome. Had he even decided between the two women in his life? Even he didn't know. He hadn't really thought about that when he cam to get Kagome, the only thing he knew was that he wanted to see Kagome, no matter what.

_It does hurt her whenever I'm around Kikyo…more than I knew. But…I don't know how to fix that…_ Inuyasha stared at Kagome, what she just said running over and over again through his mind in one big circle. He still didn't know how to let Kikyo go, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to. But it wasn't fair to Kagome; she deserved somebody who was ready to love her with all of his heart, not just half. Now he started regretting telling Kagome how he really felt, how he loved her. It would only cause more pain.

"I'm sorry." Kagome said as she turned to look Inuyasha in the eye, her own still producing tears, but she was keeping them in control. "I shouldn't have told you that. I don't want you to think that it's your own fault. My leaving, I mean. And it's not like you mean to hurt me or anything, so I don't want you to feel bad. I'm sorry." She really meant her apology, she felt guilty that she told Inuyasha that he had hurt her so much. She didn't want him to start feeling guilty. Kagome sat cross-legged to completely face Inuyasha, her eyes still locked on his. He was absently staring at her, still not having said a word. He was having trouble finding the right ones to say.

"Let's go back, to the Feudal Era I mean." Inuyasha said, as he stood up tall, choosing not to think about everything Kagome had just said anymore. It was too much; he couldn't handle everything that it meant. Thinking of everything that just happened would make him seriously regret telling Kagome how he felt, and he really didn't want what he was feeling to go away. The fact that he had made Kagome happy, made him feel really, really good. Inuyasha felt…happy. Actually and truly happy, and he didn't want to do or say anything to make that warm feeling go away; he felt it so rarely. And finally, he wasn't hurting her. But… he couldn't help feeling ashamed though, because the one thing that did get through his mind was what Kagome said about Kikyo. Inuyasha still hadn't chosen between them, but how could he? Either way, someone was going to get hurt and either way…so would he. Inuyasha just didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

"O...kay…" Kagome said, a little baffled with Inuyasha's response to everything she had just told him. She had expected something a little different; after all she had, moments earlier, practically poured her heart out to him. And all she had gotten in return was an invitation home.

_Why doesn't he ever talk to me? He almost never tells me what he's thinking…_ Kagome thought sadly as she stood up face to face with Inuyasha. His eyes were focused on the ground, trying not to meet her confused gaze. Kagome couldn't understand why he was acting like that…but then she realized that she might have said something wrong, something to make him feel uncomfortable. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she really shouldn't have brought up Kikyo. Kikyo always managed to ruin things between Kagome and Inuyasha, whether she was trying to or not. Now Inuyasha was probably thinking about Kikyo, thus his being so distant. Kikyo had an effect on an Inuyasha that nobody else could.

Kagome's thoughts were interrupted as blue light surrounded her and Inuyasha, transporting them back to the Feudal Era. She couldn't help but smile as she thought about seeing Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kaede again. It felt like she had been separated from them for ages, and she missed them so much. Well, technically they had been separated by the 500 years between their eras. It felt like Kagome had gone just that long without seeing any of her friends, her family.

"Huh?" Kagome couldn't help but be startled when she felt her legs being lifted off the ground, and her back being supported by something sturdy. Inuyasha had scooped her up into his arms, holding her gently in his strong arms. She wished that he would never let go of her; keep her in his arms forever. Kagome felt so protected, so…loved. Kagome felt a blush crawling to her cheeks as Inuyasha placed her on the ground outside of the well, after he had jumped out with Kagome in his arms. Inuyasha was being so uncharacteristically sweet to her, and he didn't seem fazed by it at all. As if what he was doing was normal. Kagome however could feel her heart beating rapidly; Inuyasha's actions were making her heart race. Inuyasha stood with his hands on his hips, looking towards the sky. He looked over at Kagome, getting lost in her eyes longer than he meant to.

"Well are we going or what?" Inuyasha let out, getting flustered by Kagome's stare, her blush…just the way she was looking at him. It made his heart race, and that sensation was so alien to him that it just frustrated him.

"Uh, yeah…" Kagome walked forward to meet up with Inuyasha, who had already taken a few steps ahead of her. Inuyasha's eyes grew wide as he felt her soft hand wrap around his own, and to his surprise, his fingers were intertwined with hers in return. It was ironic that even that smallest gesture could make Inuyasha's heart beat rapidly, whereas not an hour earlier he and Kagome had been sharing a passionate kiss. Kagome looked over at Inuyasha, a genuine smile gracing her features. She wanted to be able to hold his hand just this once, without feeling awkward, and without regretting it later. This was the one time that she felt she could do that.

**000000**

"May I inquire as to why you are trying to find him?" Miroku politely asked from his place on the floor of Kaede's hut. He was just the slightest bit suspicious as to why she was all of a sudden seeking Inuyasha out; it was usually the other way around. It was strange; he couldn't shake off the feeling that she was going to do something horrible. She looked down at the monk, those unfeeling eyes sending goose bumps down his spine; she was so hauntingly beautiful.

"It's none of your concern, monk. Just tell me where I can find him." She said, staying true to her mysterious nature. Sango looked up at her; she was sitting next to Miroku, staying completely silent. Anyone could see the angry flames burning in her eyes. She had never liked Kikyo, and she never would. For some reason right now it was hard for her to stop herself from grabbing her hiraikotsu and chasing her out of the village. Maybe it was because Sango knew that Kikyo was the reason Kagome was so sad the other night and basically anytime that she came around.

_She needs to hurry up and get out of here, and Kagome needs to come back. I thought she would've been back by now…_ It was only the fifth day that Kagome had been gone, but usually she would have only in her era for one or two days, maybe three at the most. It made Sango worried, because it made her realize that when Kagome left it must have been serious.

_Kagome must've been really upset…_ Sango got distracted from Kikyo's presence as she realized how long it had been since she had seen Kagome. Kagome was her best friend, and it was the longest that she had gone without seeing her. Sango was so used to seeing her everyday, and she missed Kagome being there for her. _I hope she comes back soon…_

"The truth is, I have no idea where he has gone. Last time I saw him, he was over by the Thousand-Year Tree. But that was more than a day ago; I doubt he's still around there." Miroku truthfully said. The only part he left out was that Inuyasha had actually been over there to go get Kagome from her era, but he wasn't about to tell Kikyo that. Since Kagome had been gone, they hardly saw anything of Inuyasha. He was always of somewhere contemplating what to do about Kagome.

"…I see." Kikyo said, and with a cold look, she was out the door. Her sentences were always short and brief, never allowing anyone to see into her actual intentions. The bamboo door of Kaede's hut moved from the force of Kikyo's leaving, showing her walking in the direction of the Thousand-Year Tree.

"That…was strange. I wonder why she's looking for him," Sango said, confused by Kikyo's actions. She could still feel the cold air that Kikyo brought in. Sango rubbed her arms to try to rid herself of the cold. Miroku looked over at her, a concerned look on his face.

"I have no idea…but I hope she doesn't bring him trouble." Miroku said, looking at the bamboo door, wondering what it could be that Kikyo wanted with Inuyasha.

**000000A/N**

hooray for a new chapter!!

god it only took me like...two months...yeah...im evil...procrasinator!

hope you enjoy! and yeah the arrow was a little weird huh? hooray for twists!

is kagome gonna make it...?

well me, being the writer, already knows! i was going to make the next chapter and this chapter into one, but it would've been SUPER long, and it would've taken another couple weeks. and i really really wanted to put up another chapter for you guys.

but the next chapter is already in the works. see this time it took me so long to put up another chapter because i had no idea where i was going next in the story, but then i figured it out, hooray!

haha. im like really ecstatic right now. reviews? yah!

p.s,

sorry to go back to semi-depressing...XD


	15. Crimson

Chapter Fifteen

**Crimson**

**0000000000**

"Gosh, I feel like I haven't been here in ages. I almost forgot how beautiful it is…" Kagome said as she looked at her surroundings wide eyed, as if she had stumbled upon some secret land, trying to take in everything in at once. Her fingers were still intertwined with Inuyasha's, much to her surprise, and to her content. Inuyasha looked over at Kagome, not being able to stop himself from wanting to take her into his arms. She looked so adorable, in awe of all the green scenery.

_It is so good to have her back…_ A smile tugged at his lips, but he turned away before he could let Kagome see. Some things were going to come a little harder than holding hands had. He wasn't ready to let Kagome see him, all of him. Everything that was inside.

"Keh, it's nothing special!" He said, letting his usual self come into the picture, letting himself close up inside. Kagome furrowed her brows at him, feeling a mix of disappointment and annoyance. She wished he could just stay sweet for a while, before letting his insensitivity break through. Her hand slipped out of his, knowing the moment had passed. There was no point in her dragging it out much longer, not if it was forced.

_I knew it was too good to last…_ Kagome sighed as she turned her attention back to the path in front of her, her pace exceeding that of Inuyasha's and placing her a few feet ahead. They were walking on the path that led to the village, to Kagome's home, her family. She could feel her excitement grow inside of her with each step she took towards them. The only thing stopping her from breaking into a sprint towards her home was Inuyasha; she was savoring each minute she had alone with him, wanting to remember exactly how she felt when his lips pressed against hers, how his hands traveled around her back and stomach. It probably wasn't going to happen too often anymore.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Inuyasha quickening his steps to catch up to her. A mischievous grin formed at her lips as she quickened her pace once again, keeping herself ahead of him. She knew Inuyasha hated to lag behind, and hated to be toyed with, but that's why she had so much fun doing it. It was harmless fun, and it made the air feel lighter, less weighed by the burden of the Sacred Jewel. But before she knew it, Inuyasha's hand had found its way back into hers. Their fingers interlaced, slowing them down to the same pace. Kagome looked down at their hands holding each other, she gave Inuyasha's hand a little squeeze as she smiled, looking up at him to see his reaction.

"What?" Inuyasha blurted out, surprised that he had even grabbed her hand. He usually felt like doing that every time he and Kagome were walking together, but had never really acted on the impulse. Still, he wanted to know that Kagome was there with him. Inuyasha didn't ever want her to slip out of his hand again; he wanted her there with him always.

Kagome smiled, she knew it was hard for Inuyasha to be open about his emotions, to do what he wanted to do. She knew he could try and cover it up as keeping her in pace, but she knew he grabbed her hand because he had wanted to. And she wanted him to, she couldn't always be the one taking the first step.

Further down on the path, Kagome and Inuyasha saw a black figure step out of the forest. It was hard to see because of the distance, but they thought they could make out the figure holding a bow. Inuyasha tried to pick up their scent, but the wind was blowing the air in the opposite direction. Kagome looked up at Inuyasha, watching him try to figure out whom the figure was. She knew she was protected. Inuyasha's eyes widened as the figure came closer, and he and Kagome kept advancing on the path. Eventually, their paths brought them close enough for Kagome to clearly see who the recently black figure was.

"K-Kikyo, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha was startled by her appearance, and quickly dropped the hand he had been so tenderly been holding. Kagome watch his hand release, and drop her own. She didn't even try to hide the hurt that showed in her eyes, but he wasn't looking at her eyes, he wasn't even looking in her direction. He dropped her hand as if it was something shameful, burning a mark for all to see. Kikyo sneered at Inuyasha, obviously pleased that her presence still had an effect on him.

_Tonight was too to be true; of course something horrible has to take place when I've been having such a great time with Inuyasha. How could I expect anything less? Oh, I can be such a fool sometimes. _Kagome stared at Kikyo, feeling the anger deep inside of her rush full force, straight into the open. She felt it so severely, the hate. It burned so fiercely and brightly; scorching Kagome each time she experienced it. She didn't want to hate anybody, but she couldn't stop the fire inside of her. Kikyo was ruining everything, absolutely everything. Just when Inuyasha had been so wonderful with Kagome, Kikyo had to come along and make her doubt everything. Kagome tore her eyes from Kikyo, determined not to fuel the fire by looking at the dead priestess. Even the hate didn't stop Kikyo's cold eyes from sending shivers down Kagome's spine. Looking inside of those corpse eyes only reminded Kagome of why she felt unhappy, and of the night she had decided to leave the Feudal Era, intending to never come back, never look back. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't blame all her unhappiness on Kikyo, could she? Inuyasha had had a part in it too.

Maybe even a bigger part. The most important part of her heart, that part of the damage was Inuyasha's doing.

Inuyasha was staring at Kikyo, dumbstruck. She had caught him completely off-guard, finding himself ashamed that she had seen his hand clasped so lovingly in Kagome's. It wasn't that he regretted holding her hand, but he certainly hadn't wanted Kikyo to see them together, like that. And he wasn't quite sure why, because he was certain that he loved Kagome. But still, he knew feelings for Kikyo still lingered inside of him, they could never be forced out. Not matter how hard or how long he tried. It took even more effort to decipher those feelings, the amount of effort he put into it seemed bottomless. But the answer never came, and he still found himself holding onto Kikyo. Even though he knew it was impossible for the two of them to be together.

"I've been searching for you, Inuyasha." Kikyo said, the words being as vague as they were haunting. She never said anything more than needed, but every word she spoke had an intention, and the weight of those words was never lost on the ears of others. It went hand in hand with her mysterious nature.

"What for?" Inuyasha asked suddenly, without hesitation, with stammering. Staring into the dark oblivion of hey eyes, Inuyasha searched for the warmth, the hope, the love, he used to find in them. But now found cold, and vacant. He realized that what had once found in Kikyo's eyes, he now found in Kagome. Inuyasha felt the warmth, the hope, and the love all at once in every single glance of her eyes, in the hot touch of her skin, in the rare and sumptuous taste of her kisses. Kikyo stared straight back at Inuyasha, her empty eyes never faltering.

"I have come to claim what if rightfully mine." Her eyes shifted to Kagome, a smile forming on her cold lips. The smile gave Kagome chills; it had a horrible, twisted nature. That type of smile ensured that something was about to happen, something that could potentially crush the life of whom the smile was directed at. It was treacherous, and Kagome could feel something horrible was going to happen.

"What…do you mean?" Kagome managed to utter her inquiry, managing to successfully hide her fright. She stood right next to Inuyasha as he looked at her, for the first time since they had crossed paths with Kikyo. Their eyes met, and Kagome saw the concern in his eyes. He knew.

"Kikyo…" Inuyasha said, rather threateningly, when he returned his attention to the deceased Miko.

"I've come to retrieve my soul. The soul that was wrongfully put into your body." Kikyo took an arrow from her quiver and strung it on her bow, her intentions displayed in bright colors as she aimed straight for Kagome. Her eyes widened once she saw the arrow aimed right for her, and felt her heart rate begin to quicken. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing everything would disappear. Closing her eyes made the inevitable seem less scary. Death by arrow.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Inuyasha yelled as he quickly put his own body in front of Kagome's, trying to guarantee her safety. When Kagome didn't feel a hit, she opened her eyes, relief flooding her body when she saw the strong body of Inuyasha blocking her form harms way. Her breath escaped her, not knowing she had been holding it. Her heart slowed down as the feeling of being safe soothed her mind and body.

But Kikyo kept the arrow aimed directly at Kagome, even with Kagome blocking the arrow from hitting her. Kikyo hadn't moved a muscle when Inuyasha had ran in front of Kagome, raising his arms to block her target. By the way Kikyo was smirking, it almost seemed as if she was expecting it.

"Are you crazy? Why are you doing this!" Inuyasha yelled at her, for the first time in all the years he had known her. He had never felt angry with her, not for anything she intentionally did. Even when Naraku had tried to make them hate each other, and done unspeakable things while disguised as either one, Inuyasha had never really been angry with Kikyo. He could never really blame her for anything. 

"Don't you see, Inuyasha? If I get my soul back, I can be whole again. I'll be complete; I won't have to take the souls of others. But most importantly, we can be together again Inuyasha. Don't you want that?" Kikyo stared at Inuyasha, her aim as steady as ever. Once again Inuyasha looked, but it was all gone. Her eyes weren't the same. But if what she said was true, could her eyes be how they used to be?

"Oh, God." She couldn't stop them; the words tumbled out of her mouth as she realized what Kikyo was saying. _She wants me out of the picture, but not just out, out as in dead out. So for her and Inuyasha to be together, I have to be dead. If that's a price she's willing to pay, is he?…But, doesn't she know she could have him already if she wanted? If she tried? _

Kagome's eyes trailed behind Inuyasha's arms as they slowly lowered, returning to his sides. It gave the impression that the block, his protection, was gone. And it left Kagome feeling like an open target.

_Well, say something! …Anything?_ Kagome wanted to scream at him, tell him to say something, to tell her what he was feeling, and what he was thinking. Anything to fill the silence she felt and heard, telling her all she didn't want to know.

He loves her.

He wants her.

He is taking her back.

It broke Kagome's heart, the loving and the wanting. But if he were to take Kikyo back, it would literally break her heart. Killing her, body and soul.

"I…" Inuyasha couldn't find the words to say. Everything was happening to fast, he didn't have time to think. What was he going to do? Here was Kikyo, his first love, telling him she wanted to be with him. But in order for that to happen, Kagome, his second love, had to die. He couldn't possibly let her kill Kagome, that much he knew. The question was, which one could he live without?

"I can't let you kill Kagome." He stood with his head down, fists clenched. Frustrated with everything that he was being faced with. Inuyasha couldn't look at either of them; the women he loved or had once loved. Kikyo's stare shifted to Kagome, who was almost completely hidden by Inuyasha's body. She felt the tiniest bit of jealousy fuel inside her, seeing Inuyasha protect Kagome's life while jeopardizing his own, and knowing that Inuyasha hadn't immediately chosen her over Kagome.

Kagome was also growing impatient with Inuyasha, watching him just stand there in silence. It was driving her crazy, her life was being threatened after all. And he wasn't doing anything about it, not like he usually does when she's in danger. It was uncharacteristic of him to stand there and think things over. It made Kagome feel like he wasn't going to protect her, it was scary.

_Ugh, I can't take this much longer. Really, why am I still here? He's obviously thinking about his options. And if he isn't sure about me, us, than I really shouldn't be risking my life for him. Right now, he obviously doesn't know what he feels._ Kagome looked at the back of Inuyasha's head, having come to a decision.

"I'm really sick of this, Inuyasha," Kagome half-whispered, gathering strength and volume in her voice to continue, "I'm going to leave, to the village. I'll go by myself, you don't have to come. It won't matter anymore, not if you aren't sure that you want to be with me. I don't like feeling like this, Inuyasha." Inuyasha lifted his head to look at Kagome, his body still turned away from hers.

"Feeling like what?" He asked.

"Feeling like if I wasn't here complicating things, you and Kikyo would be together. Feeling like I'm second best, that if you could have Kikyo, you would have her right now. It's suffocating, and I think I finally realize what I have to do… I have to let you go. I can't keep pretending that you don't want to be with Kikyo, so unless you decide to pick me, this is goodbye." Kagome couldn't bring herself to look into the hanyou's eyes, but she could feel his own burning into her flesh. She knew that if she looked into those eyes, and saw what was there, she would fall right into his arms. Inuyasha turned his gaze back to the floor, trying to process what she said along with everything else. It was all too much for him to handle. Couldn't they tell they were tearing him apart?

"Well, isn't this interesting." Kikyo grew smugger after Kagome's speech, pleased also that she had such an effect on her. Her gaze was still fixed on Kagome, her bow and arrow still poised to release, and take Kagome's life.

Kagome chose not to react to Kikyo, and pretend like she wasn't there. She was past caring about her, and just wanted to be free of her. "Well?" Kagome said to Inuyasha, trying to get him to say something in response to what she had said. But his silence couldn't be broken.

"Yeah, that's what I figured." Kagome whispered, more to herself than to anybody else. She started to walk away, staying true to what she had said about going to the village by herself. If he wasn't going to pick her, it didn't matter. She wasn't going to stand there and watch as Inuyasha eventually chose Kikyo over her. Kagome had already endured so much pain from Inuyasha, and if she took anymore… she didn't know if she would ever be ok.

Kikyo sneered as she watched Kagome turn her back, and she pulled her arrow back tighter, and released. Inuyasha watched everything, as if it all was entering his vision in slow motion. He watched Kagome walk away, and then turned to see Kikyo pull her arm back and straighten her aim, her fingers release the arrow from its bind of the bow. The arrow was heading straight for Kagome, and Inuyasha could see it move millimeter for millimeter, millisecond by millisecond. It processed.

"No!" Inuyasha yelled as he ran full speed towards Kagome, reaching his arms to grab her to him, saving her from the arrow's strike.

He didn't run fast enough. Kagome turned around when she heard Inuyasha yelled. She gasped, right when she turned around she felt an immense pressure on her left shoulder. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, sitting on her legs. Kagome gripped her shoulder, the arrow in between her middle and pointer fingers. She squeezed, trying to stop the bleeding, and cringed from the pain.

"Agh!" The moan was in anguish, she couldn't believe the pain she felt, it was unbearable. Her vision blurred as she watched her blood seep through the crevasses of her fingers. It wasn't stopping, she was bleeding too much. She was going to die. Kagome's breathing slowed, and she noticed the purple mist lightly surrounding the arrow in her, the sign of a priestess' arrow. She exhaled as she fell backwards, losing consciousness.

Inuyasha watched in horror as Kagome fell to the floor, blood quickly spreading on her and the ground. He ran over to her and kneeled beside her, touching the blood flowing out of her. Inuyasha clenched his fist in anger, he let this happen. It was his fault.

Kikyo took another arrow from her quiver and strung it on her bow, aiming once again for Kagome. Her first hit was off; she was supposed to kill her immediately. Inuyasha looked over at her, anger swelling up inside of him. This time, he was blaming her. It wasn't only his fault, was it? He stepped in front of Kagome once again, blocking her from harms way. But this time, he wouldn't let her get hit.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Inuyasha yelled fiercely, his rage growing stronger by the each second that passed, by each ounce of blood that was coming out of his beloved Kagome's body. He never knew he could angry towards Kikyo, or so angry with himself. She sneered as she lowered her bow, still keeping the arrow tight.

"I've told you already, I'm insuring us a future together." Mid-sentence Kikyo had brought her arrow back up to aim at Kagome, and had released as she finished her sentence. But Inuyasha had anticipated she would try to strike again while he was off-guard, and had scooped Kagome up in his arms and was running away from Kikyo. The arrow narrowly missed his right arm, but the only thing he was focused on was getting Kagome away from danger.

"Inu…yasha…" Kagome whispered, her breathing labored. The warmth of Inuyasha's body comforted her, but the pain from her shoulder was still dragging her in and out of consciousness.

"Shh, Kagome don't say anything." Inuyasha cooed, he didn't want her to spend any more energy than she had to. He was worried about her, really worried. What if she died? And it was his entire fault. Inuyasha couldn't stop blaming himself.

**000000**

Kikyo half-smiled as she watched Inuyasha run into the distance with Kagome in her arms. It gave her satisfaction to know that everything was going according to plan, things were going smoothly. She stepped in the direction that Inuyasha ran off in, walking in her normal pace.

**000000**

Inuyasha laid Kagome down on the grass in front of the well, being as gentle as he could. He didn't want to cause her any extra pain, and he wish that he could take all the pain she was feeling into himself, so she wouldn't have to feel the weight of any of it. If it was at all possible, he would.

"Kagome?" Her breaths her labored and short, her eyes too heavy to keep open. The arrow looked like it had gone deep, Kikyo had used full force to insure the arrow did damage. It had plunged into the area between her left shoulder and her chest, luckily not too close to any vital organs. But the blood was still creeping out, having slowed only a little bit from the time she was struck to when Inuyasha set her down on the floor. She took in a quick, shallow breath as she opened her eyes. Her left arm automatically went to her shoulder, feeling her shirt soaked in blood. She wrapped her fingers around the arrow in her shoulder, giving it a tug and crying out in pain. Kagome put her hand in front of her face, looking at her palm covered in blood.

"Oh, god." She whispered as she put her arm next to her side. She closed her eyes and tried to stay calm, but she felt like she couldn't move. The pain was paralyzing.

"Kagome, I'm going to take you to your era, where you can get help, okay?" Inuyasha spoke gently, but didn't look directly at Kagome. His gaze was fixed on the well, his guilt was overpowering him. He had let this happen, he was letting Kagome bleed to death.

"Are you…" Kagome took in a shallow breath, "going…to come with me?" She spoke in between breaths, the arrow and blood loss taking a toll on her lung capacity. Kagome saw Inuyasha turn to look at her, but she couldn't focus on his figure. Her vision was blurring again, everything was turning black._ Oh, god._

"Kagome, Kagome," Inuyasha kneeled beside her, moving her good shoulder. It was no use, she was unconscious again. He leaned in close, waiting for a breath._ Good, she's still breathing…but what am I going to do?_

Inuyasha sat down cross-legged next to Kagome; he wanted a second to think. He looked at her face, how even in a state of unconsciousness he could see her pain. How could he let her get struck? And now all he was doing was watching her, staring at the blood that seeped out of her. Surreal- that was it, he couldn't face this. It couldn't be happening. If she died, he would be destroyed. But even if she didn't die, he would be destroyed. _She would never forgive me._ Inuyasha felt completely responsible.

He knew now, Kagome was the one. She was the one he couldn't live without.

" I thought you would escape to here. I know how you think, Inuyasha." Kikyo said as she walked towards Inuyasha. "Hm. Back to the place where I sealed you with my arrow, the Thousand Year Tree. It seems history will be repeating itself tonight." She stopped just a few feet before him, and dangerously close to Kagome's bleeding body.

"What…are you planning to do to me? To Kagome?" Inuyasha stood up slowly, not wanting to invite any hostile actions on Kikyo's part.

"Hm. I think you very well know, Inuyasha. I intend to do what I once did more than fifty years ago- seal you to that tree. If I can't have you, no one will." Kikyo once again took an arrow from her quiver and aimed, straight for the hanyou that once put an arrow through her own heart.

Inuyasha's heartbeat quickened, he hadn't expected her to want to hurt him. But then again, this wasn't the Kikyo he once knew. She was tainted, only living because she stole the souls of other women. It was a dirty life.

He took Kagome in his arms, more blood staining his hands and arms. Kagome's head and arms hung lifelessly, and Inuyasha could feel the warmth leaving her body. Inuyasha was thinking of how to escape, and he saw his chance- the well. Kikyo couldn't get through. Of course! It was perfect. He started running towards his escape when Kikyo interjected.

"If you leave now, Inuyasha, you will only bring more disaster for those around you. I would have to go after your friends- the monk, fox-demon, and that demon-slayer. I'll kill all of them, Inuyasha, if you run." Kikyo smiled as Inuyasha slowed down before he ran into the well. He was a different person now; he actually put others before himself. She was surprised to find that he cared about his friends' lives.

_Kagome, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._ Inuyasha gently lowered his arms into the well, trying to drop Kagome to the floor as gently as he could. He cringed as he heard her body make contact with the ground of the well. Blue light mirrored with the crimson red of blood filled the well, assuring Inuyasha that Kagome was safely transported back to her own time.

**000000A/N**

wow, it took me 4 long months to update! sorry that took me so long... but i worked really hard on this chapter so hopefully it was worth the wait!

the next chapter i should be out of flashback mode and i'll write about how kagome is in the well and stuff

but i think it will mostly be about kikyo trying to seal inuyasha to a tree again...

well reviews would be verry nice!

i hope all you lovely readers enjoyed this chapter!


	16. Denial

Chapter Sixteen

**Denial**

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She awoke in blood, her own. The pain had consumed her and knocked her unconscious. But, for how long? And how much blood had been lost in that time of blackness? Kagome lifted her head as far the pain allowed her, she could only lift her head so far before she felt like she was being pushed through the floor. She looked at her body, alarmed to see her shirt completely covered in blood. It was to the point of being black, and the dirt around her had torso had been darkened by the loss of her blood. She let her head fall gently back to the floor, it was pounding from the strain she had put on herself to lift it. Everything on and inside of her was pounding; the pain was driving her crazy.

_Oh God, what am I going to do? This pain… it's unbearable! I feel like my body is tearing itself apart. All from a stupid arrow… I can't even keep my head lifted for five seconds._

Kagome tried move her arms in an attempt to sit herself up, but was horrified to find that she had lost control of her left arm. Her right arm had moved, but felt like it weighed fifty pounds. A jolt of pain ran through her body from the energy it took for her to try to sit herself up, and she lied her self down on the floor in defeat. Kagome felt as if she was going to black out again, and she was scared that if she did, she might not wake up again.

"HELP! MOM? SOUTA? GRANDPA! SOMEBODY, HELP!" Kagome screamed and screamed and screamed, feeling the fear of the death. She screamed for help, but the intensity of those screams came from her wanting to drive away the pain. The physical, and the mental. She was in a state of denial, not letting herself think of anything but the pain she was feeling. Kagome would not let herself think of what actions had put her in this position, not of who took those actions, and certainly not of what was in store for her or for Inuyasha. Not a thing, otherwise… she would lose herself to the pain.

Kagome looked over at her right arm, breathing heavily from her pleas of help. She moved her fingers a little, watching them as they formed a weak fist. Then, she turned her head to her left side, summoning all of her strength to make the littlest twitch. Kagome stared intently, trying to catch the slightest sign of movement in her paralyzed arm, but found nothing. She squeezed her eyes shut as she screamed once more for help.

She couldn't let this get her. This wouldn't consume her, this wouldn't kill her.

She would fight for her life.

**000000**

"Kikyo, what are you trying to do here?" Inuyasha asked, standing his ground in front of the Bone Eater's Well. He was itching to jump into it, bringing himself to Kagome's era so he could be by her side. It was agonizing torture not knowing whether or not she was being helped yet, or if she was going to be okay. But if he were to do that, we would leave his friends unprotected and at the mercy of Kikyo's arrows. At least Kagome had a chance of surviving; her family would find her and take her somewhere to be helped. He knew medicine in her time was much more advanced, so she could survive. But if he left Sango, Miroku, and Shippo… he was certain Kikyo would try her hardest to kill them. Inuyasha couldn't believe that she actually would, but her threat was so callous that he didn't want to take the chance of being wrong. They way he left Kagome, though…it worried him. Kagome's family would find her, right? They had to…

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Inuyasha? I thought I had made myself perfectly clear what my intentions are," Kikyo paused, narrowing her eyes at Inuyasha, "I am planning on exacting my revenge. First, by getting rid of that girl you replaced me with. She is where she belongs now. And secondly, by binding you to the Thousand Year Tree once again. It takes these steps, Inuyasha, for me to finally be able to pass on in peace to the other side. So I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop making this so difficult." Her lips curled to form a sort of sick smile, and Inuyasha found himself torn.

"But I thought you had said you were trying to receive your soul from Kagome by killing her," Inuyasha said, having remembered that Kikyo had said she wanted to kill Kagome so her and Inuyasha could be together again. Why was she saying differently now? This time, she was talking about her own death.

"You fool, what I said earlier was all part of my plan. I didn't want her to know what my true intentions were, and nonetheless, I will be making sure she never returns to this time. Why do you think I let you send Kagome back to her own time? If I had really wanted to kill her, I would have done it much earlier. I did not plan on shooting her with my arrow, but that is what it took to send her back home. Isn't it better that she left never wanting to come back, Inuyasha? I made sure that she left thinking you had betrayed her, and that you and I would be together forever. That way, she won't have to suffer as much when you don't go back to get her. I saved her from a world of strife, Inuyasha. You should be thankful for that."

_Kikyo is doing this so she can be at peace, and die happily. The first time she died, she held so much anger inside of her. This way… she would be freed. But, if she follows through with her plans…. then both her and Kagome would be gone forever. _Inuyasha stared at Kikyo, not sure if he was ready to let her go. Or Kagome. Was this his punishment for not choosing between the two for so long? Now he would lose both of the women in his heart. He had held onto Kikyo for so long, even when she hated him, even when she had tried to kill Kagome once before. And Kagome… he wanted to be with her forever. It was so cruel that he would never see her again after they had confessed their love for each other. The way Kikyo had made her leave… he couldn't see how it wouldn't be painful for her. Inuyasha couldn't believe how much he had hurt Kagome, unintentionally. The guilt would be too much.

Back when he and Kikyo were in love, they were two people that were alone in their own worlds. Nobody would be allowed in, and nobody would want to enter.

Inuyasha was a half-demon, accepted neither by humans nor demons. He grew up distrusting everyone, thinking no person would have a place in their heart for him. Inuyasha pretended to detest everyone and everything, thinking it covered up his fear of rejection. If he continued to live his life like that, the rejection could never faze him. He would never give anyone the chance to reject him, not if he denied them first.

Kikyo was a priestess who guarded the Jewel of Four Souls, thus living a life of solitude and battle. She wasn't allowed to love; she wasn't allowed to do the things a normal woman would do. Her main and almost only purpose in life was to purify and keep the sacred jewel safe, and what a cursed life she led. Daily she would fight off demons, protecting her village from their malevolent ways. Although knowing that she was the one to keep her people alive gave her a sense of wellbeing, she found her life empty.

But when the two met each other, they found the one person who would be able to live inside their solitary world with them.

Inuyasha had been attempting to steal the sacred jewel from Kikyo, in order to become a full-fledged demon. Kikyo had thwarted all of his attempts, but had never once actually tried to kill him like she would do to any other demon. She knew that the two of them were alike- all alone. And as Inuyasha tried more and more to steal the jewel, the less he actually wanted to take it. He found himself shadowing Kikyo, watching her every move. It was that way that they became as one, living together in their solitary world.

The love they had for each other was that of needing.

Needing someone to love, someone to understand them.

Somebody to make them feel less alone.

But as time goes on, needs change.

"What is it, Inuyasha? You're not going to try and stop me? Reprimand me for hurting your beloved Kagome?" Kikyo pulled back her arrow, steadying her aim on the hanyou. Her eyes were fierce, showing no hesitation or remorse for what she was planning to do.

_What will I do? If I sacrifice myself for her happiness, I'll never be able to see Kagome again… But if I don't let Kikyo do this, she will be forced to continue living her tortured half-life._

"Is this the only way for you to die happily, Kikyo? By hurting others?" Inuyasha looked straight into her eyes, his expression showing earnestness. He was asking for an honest answer, still desperately hoping for another way.

Kikyo snickered at Inuyasha's questions. "Don't you think I've tried to satisfy my anger in other ways, Inuyasha? I tried to take it out on Naraku, the true person I should feel hatred towards, but to no avail. Thus I have found that the only way for me to be at peace is if things are restored to how they were before that witch revived me. Meaning, binding you once again to that tree, Kagome back in her own time, and myself back in the afterlife."

"And you're okay with that? With binding me for a tree for eternity when I never betrayed you in the first place? Besides that, you hurt Kagome, and played a game with her mind. How can you be okay with that?" Inuyasha was beginning to feel anger boil up inside of him for what Kikyo did to Kagome. But that anger still wasn't enough to make him act against Kikyo.

"I have to be, Inuyasha, if I want to leave this life. I can't possibly stay here, continuing to take the souls of dead women. It's despicable, and I want to be rid of it. I won't do it anymore. But I can't let myself pass on quite yet, not until I first let you go. This is what I have to do in order to let you go, it is my release." Kikyo pulled back the string of her bow and released. But the arrow narrowly missed Inuyasha's right shoulder as he quickly dodged the attack. He landed himself behind Kikyo, who was now facing him again. She already had another bow strung, readying herself for another strike. She was now the closest to the well, with her back facing it. Inuyasha had inadvertently brought himself closer to the tree that held his fate.

"There has to be another way, Kikyo!" Inuyasha yelled, wishing to find a way to bring Kikyo peace without destroying his life, and Kagome's.

**000000**

"Oh my god! Kagome!" Kagome's mother looked down into the well at her unconscious, and furiously bleeding, daughter. There was blood… a lot of it. On Kagome's clothes, soaking into the ground, it was frightening. Kagome's frantic pleas of help had finally reached her mother in the kitchen. She gently jumped into the well and kneeled by her.

"What happened to you? Kagome? Kagome!" Mrs. Higurashi gently shook Kagome, trying to wake her up. When she didn't wake from her unconscious state, her mother started to panic. She looked at Kagome's blood covering her hands, and felt true, unequivocal horror.

"Grandpa! Souta! Come here quick!" Mrs. Higurashi's yells were loud and shrill, certainly loud enough to reach her family and send them running towards her voice. She held Kagome's head in her lap, stroking her hair out of her face. Mrs. Higurashi was trying her best to control her crying, but she couldn't stop from letting tears escape. She knew that this had happened to Kagome in the Feudal Era, but she couldn't understand why. She thought Inuyasha would take care of Kagome, but she came back home this injured, and without him. What had happened back there?

"What is it daughter?" Kagome's grandpa walked into the shrine with Souta trailing behind him. When they didn't see her standing inside the shrine, they looked down into the well.

They couldn't believe their eyes. They couldn't find words to say.

"Go call an ambulance, quickly! The both of you! Kagome needs to go to a doctor right away!" Tears were streaming down Mrs. Higurashi's face. She couldn't stop her crying, partly from seeing her daughter in such a state, and from the fear of losing her forever.

"Mom… is she going to be okay?" Tears were coming to Souta's eyes, it scared him to see his sister like that. He had no idea what was happening or what was going to happen.

"Souta, please go with your grandpa and call for help!" With that final plea, Souta and his grandfather ran back to the house to call for an ambulance.

**000000**

"Oh, Kagome… don't worry, the doctors will take care of you! You'll be fine," Mrs. Higurashi's voice was cracking, she was trying her hardest to not break down and cry. Even though Kagome was still unconscious, her mother was still talking to her. It gave her comfort to think that Kagome could still hear her. She was struggling to keep up with the people pushing Kagome on the hospital bed, but once they reached the entrance to the operating wing, the surgeon wouldn't let her go any further.

"Mrs. Higurashi, please wait in the waiting area with your son and father. I will send someone to inform you of how the surgery went with we are finished. Please try not to worry, we are doing everything we can." The surgeon, Dr. Yoshimi, was experienced in handling frantic family members and knew what to say to calm them down somewhat. The door to the operating wing was closed, and Kagome's mother was left to stare at the door, helpless.

Kagome opened her eyes and was almost blinded by the bright lights hanging over her. She was disoriented; she had no idea where she was or how she got there. The light made it hard to see any figures, but she thought she saw people surrounding her. But she didn't know who they were.

"Mom?" Kagome whispered as her eyes grew heavy and was taken under by the anesthesia.

**000000**

_Kagome…please, please be okay…_ Kagome's smiling face ran through Inuyasha's mind as he closed his eyes. In his last seconds, he could feel a deep sadness flowing through him. The sadness came from knowing that he would never see Kagome again, he would never again be able to kiss her or embrace her, or hear her heavenly laugh… But the arrow soon blocked all his emotions and pain, as he was plunged into a deep, eternal sleep.

Kikyo watched as Inuyasha closed his eyes in defeat. She lowered her bow and hesitantly walked over to the tree holding the hanyou she used to love. Her hand traveled to his face, tracing Inuyasha's cheekbone with her fingers. She had never felt his skin this way before; it was unusually soft to the touch. It was… strange.

"We were never allowed to be this close before, Inuyasha. What was stopping us?" Kikyo removed her hand and scoffed at the thought.

"Our love was doomed from the beginning. We were both foolish, and if this is our punishment, so be it." She turned away from Inuyasha; she couldn't stand to look at him anymore. Seeing him so helpless, and lifeless, it stirred something in her. And she wouldn't, and couldn't, allow her plan to fail. She began walking towards the well.

"I will seal this well so that the possibility of anyone coming of going through the portal will cease to exist. This will help me to be at peace," Kikyo knelt before the well and put her hands together, calling forth all her spiritual aura so that she would have the strength to seal the well.

**000000**

"Mrs. Higurashi?" Kagome's mother stood up to face the nurse who had called her name. It had been two and a half hours since Kagome was taken into surgery, and her family was going insane with worry and unanswered questions. The question that was burning into their minds was, what happened back in the Feudal Era? Kagome was the only one who could answer.

"Yes? Are you here to tell me news of Kagome?" She eagerly asked, clutching her purse. Her hands were still covered in blood; she had been too busy worrying about Kagome to think about washing her hands.

"Yes, I am. The surgery went well, we were able to remove the arrow without causing any damage to her vital organs. Luckily for your daughter, the arrow had hit a mass of muscle tissue, protecting her organs from being punctured. The muscle tissue will be able repair itself, so there is no real harm there." The nurse said.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Mrs. Higurashi felt a wave of relief wash over her. She felt as if she could finally breathe again.

"Unfortunately, there was a slight complication, though not having to do with the surgery," Kagome's mother felt the panic take a hold of her, "Kagome had lost a substantial amount of blood, even before she was transported to this hospital. Thusly, she will be in a weakened state for some time. We were able to find blood that was her type, and we used it during the surgery. Although, the amount of blood we put into her was only enough to keep her from… well, taking a turn for worse during the operation. All this means is that she will have to stay a little while in the hospital, so we can monitor her recovery. We want to make sure there are no other complications with the surgery, and that she fully recovers from her blood loss." Mrs. Higurashi didn't feel the wave of relief wash over her this time, she still felt the worry. There was still a chance that Kagome wouldn't be okay.

"But, for how long?" Souta spoke up from his seat next to his grandfather, who was also seated. His face was pink from crying, he was very worried about his older sister. He wanted her home with him as soon as possible. Kagome's grandfather had been extremely quiet during this whole ordeal, and his face was solemn.

"As long as it takes. It may be two days, it may be two weeks. We won't be able to know for sure until Kagome wakes up from the anesthesia. What is important is that your daughter survived," The nurse looked from Souta to Mrs. Higurashi, "We expect she will awake soon, would you like me to take you to her room?"

"Yes, please!" Mrs. Higurashi couldn't wait to see her daughter, especially without the arrow protruding from her shoulder. She needed to see with her own two eyes that she was okay. Kagome's grandfather and little brother trailed behind Mrs. Higurashi and the nurse as they walked in anticipation to see her.

The nurse opened the door to room 158, a private room where Kagome would be staying. Her family walked in to the room, its walls were painted pure white with pink curtains hiding the window. It was a cute room, perfect for somebody like Kagome.

Mrs. Higurashi, her father, and Souta gathered around Kagome, all staring anxiously for her to wake.

**000000A/N000000**

Hooray for a new chapter!!!

Im so happy I finally finished it. I've been working on it for like three weeks!

What I usually do is write a little bit every once in a while, and then when I get enough for a chapter, I write a final one to put up.

But this one took so long! But I really like it!

I hope all you lovely readers do as well!


	17. An Empty Day

Chapter Seventeen

**An Empty Day**

**0000000000**

"Kagome? Don't you think it's too soon to be going to school?" Mrs. Higurashi had peeked in through her daughter's door, expecting to find her sound asleep. Instead, she found Kagome hurrying about, getting ready for school. Kagome looked at her mother after putting her books in her bag, a surprised look on her face.**  
**

"Mom, I've already missed way too much school. I really need to catch up. Besides, I'm fine; I only need my right arm anyway!" She laughed, trying to assure her mom that she was, in fact, fine. Sure, her left arm was in a sling, she had undergone intensive surgery, and her heart was broken, but she was still alive wasn't she? The doctor had told her that she shouldn't try to use or move the left side of her torso excessively for a minimum of three weeks. He had also told her that the surgery went well; they removed the arrow without doing any extra damage. Although, the arrow had done its fair share of damage. The muscle it had struck would be forever scarred, creating a break in the smoothness of the skin on her chest. There was now a small, concave mark beneath Kagome's collarbone, just before the jagged, S-shaped scar from where the doctor had cut her open and stitched her back up again. The soon-to-be scar was its thickest where the arrow had first punctured her, creating a puckering effect.

"Well...okay, honey. But please, call me if you don't feel well." Mrs. Higurashi quietly shut the door. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief, and continued putting her books away at a noticeably quicker pace. It tired her to act so cheerful.

Kagome had been restless having to spend four consecutive days in bed. She had actually been in bed for an entire week, but had been unconscious for the first three days. The severe blood loss she had gone through left her body weak, as had the many blood transfusions she had been put through. The anesthesia, the surgery, the recovery... the pain of it all paled in comparison to the mental trauma she had been put through. That she blamed herself for being put through. But she wouldn't think about that anymore.

The first day she had come to, Wednesday, her mind immediately began to decipher what had happened. She recalled reuniting with Inuyasha, and feeling immense happiness at their kiss and shared proclamation of love. But then... she remembered seeing Kikyo, and then she was arguing with Inuyasha... and she left, knowing that Inuyasha would inevitably choose Kikyo. Why should she stay with someone who couldn't offer her his whole heart? Even if he denied it, Inuyasha would always hold a place in his heart for Kikyo. And then... there was pain. So much pain. And she was being rushed somewhere else, in _his_ arms. But what did that mean? Why had he dropped her back down the well, all by herself? There was only one way to take it. And instead of dealing with it, Kagome would choose to forget everything about the Feudal Era. She knew it was painful, but she knew it would be less painful than accepting unrequited love and its ugly consequences. It was mere seconds of this type of thinking before she felt the pain lashing at her insides. Her mind went blank. She wouldn't allow herself to think of such hurtful things. She would make herself forget.

"Bye Mom! Souta! Grandpa!" Kagome yelled as she sprinted out the door, eager to escape her family. She slowed down to a walk as she rounded the corner after her house. Her breathing was already labored, and she had to pause against a wall to catch her breath.

_How can I be this out of shape? It must be from the surgery..._

Kagome waited until her heart stopped racing before beginning her walk to school again.

**000000flashback000000**

The scene before her was hauntingly beautiful. A backdrop of overcast skies, riddled with stars, loomed behind the Thousand Year Tree that held the imprisoned hanyou. Kikyo stood before the well, staring at the barrier she had successfully put up. Around the well there was now a purple orb, luminescent and transparent. It seemed to be alive; glints of shimmer flowing through the shape. She was pleased, it was one of her strongest barriers yet. She had to be certain that no one, especially her so-called reincarnation, could break through.

"And now I will send myself to the afterlife." Kikyo took one last look at Inuyasha, not feeling regret or even affection, but the closest thing to content she had felt in fifty years - empty; she was free of anger and of spite.

She knelt before the Thousand Year Tree, and the half-demon she had once loved. Even though she had pinned him to the tree, Kikyo did not derive any pleasure from having recreated the event from half a century ago. Without any remorse, she willed the spirits keeping her alive to leave her shell of a body. One by one, purple orbs of light floated of Kikyo and disappeared into the night's cold air.

As the last soul left her, Kikyo uttered her last words, "Everything... is as it should be..." With a soft sigh, she fell forward. The magic which had held her makeshift body together left. Kikyo was no more, and all that was left to be seen was a pile of dust inside a white and red kimono.

**000000endflashback000000**

"Kagome? Are you sure you're okay? You look really pale..." Hojou was standing in front of Kagome's desk, watching her get closer and closer to unconsciousness.

"Yes, Hojou, I'm fine," Kagome said after a short pause. She was massaging her temples with the fingers of her right hand very slowly, finding it very difficult to string her words together. Her eyes were shut tight, trying to match the force of the horrible headache she had been suffering from for the past half hour.

"Besides, I'm always impossibly pale, aren't I?" She laughed a little in an attempt to ease Hojou's worries. The last thing she wanted was to be sent back home for more rest. At home there was not enough to distract her from taboo topics, and far too many opportunities to think of them. She didn't want her mind to wander and attempt to make sense of things.

"Do you think you can make it home? I can walk with you," Hojou looked at Kagome with worry, fearing she might collapse trying to walk home. Kagome lowered her hands and took a breath, preparing to tell Hojou she was perfectly fine. But when she looked him in the eyes, her words caught in her through. She didn't want to walk home alone, it was too easy to think. And she couldn't lie to Hojou like that, not when he was looking at her so earnestly.

"Thanks Hojou, I would really like that," Kagome gave him a small smile and stood up from her desk. Maybe if she tried to not be alone as much as she possibly could, she would find lighter things to think about. Maybe she could learn to laugh genuinely again.

_Whoa. _

Kagome grasped the edge of the desk with her left hand as she wobbled a bit, but then immediately let go when she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. She wished she could use her right hand to firmly press against her shoulder and suppress the pain. But even after a week she hadn't been able to look at her scar, nonetheless touch it. The less contact any of her senses had with it, the easier it would be to pretend nothing had happened to her.

_I guess I shouldn't be using my left arm like that just yet..._

"Kagome? Are you dizzy?" Hojou grabbed Kagome's right arm to steady her. She opened her eyes and allowed her right shoulder to shift onto Hojou.

"Yes, thank you. I guess I'm just tired," Kagome smiled at him. Hojou looked unsure at first, but soon returned Kagome's smile with his own wholehearted one.

_Maybe it's good for me to spend time with Hojou... he's always so kind and genuine to me. That would be refreshing..._

**000000**

"Hey Miroku, have you seen Inuyasha today?" Sango sat in front of Kaede's hut, waiting for the hanyou's return. She was used to not seeing him the past week, ever since Kagome took off. He spent most of his time either sitting pensively in a tree or pacing around the well deciding whether or not to go get Kagome. She wished he would already. She missed Kagome and worried for her. And now that Kikyo was searching for Inuyasha... she was curious as to what was going on with him.

_I'm worried that Kagome has been gone for so long... when she leaves it's usually because Inuyasha has made her angry, but it's never been for this long. I wonder what she was feeling when she left? Could she have been sad, and not mad this time? Oh, that Inuyasha... I hope for his sake that Kikyo hasn't found him. But I wonder what she wanted with him..._

"No, actually. I was just looking for you to ask the same question. Shippo hasn't seen him either. We've checked his favorite trees and the well. No sign of Kikyo either," Miroku sat down next to Sango and crossed his legs. He wasn't too worried; he figured Inuyasha had just broken down and gone to get Kagome. Again. The first time he had tried, he wouldn't answer anyone's questions about why she wasn't with him.

_"It's none of your business why she's not with me! Besides, why the hell were you three watchin' me anyway? I can't do anything around here without being spied on, is that it?" _And with that, he had run away. Most likely to find a tree to perch in and think. Or fume.

"Well I hope that means he went to get Kagome. It doesn't feel right not having her here. Especially because without her here, Inuyasha becomes incredibly moody - more so than usual. What do you think Kikyo wanted anyhow?" Sango tried to scoot away from the monk as discreetly as possible; she knew him too well to trust such a close proximity.

"Yes, that is what I am thinking as well. Let us hope that this time he is successful in bringing her back. I'm sure his last attempt failed because he refused to apologize or something foolish of the sort. As for Kikyo... I have no idea. I only hope she doesn't have violent intentions," As he spoke, he scooted over to close then gap between him and Sango. Just as she knew to anticipate his freshness, Miroku was adept at catching her sly attempts of distancing herself. He let out a contented sigh as he felt the side of Sango's body against his. An irritated Sango raised her hand, but was interrupted by Shippo running full speed towards them.

"Sango! Miroku! You have to come quick! It's... I... I went... to look for..." Shippo had come to a stop in Sango's lap, and was heaving from his sprint. But as soon as he stopped trying to speak, he began bawling.

"What is it Shippo? What happened?" Sango asked frantically.

**000000**

"Kagome... won't you let me carry you? This is the second time you've gotten dizzy and fell," Hojou grabbed Kagome by the hand and helped her back on her feet. They had been walking together towards Kagome's house when she had felt dizzy, and yet again, crumpled to the ground. The second time had been more severe; this time, she had nearly slipped into unconsciousness. Hojou looked at Kagome with extreme worry and guilt, he wished he could have caught her before she fell to the floor**. **Hojou was thankful that she at least allowed him to walk her home.

"No, Hojou, please... I'd be too embarrassed. You're doing more than enough as it is," Kagome gave him what felt like a smile, but then Hojou asked (for the one thousandth time) if she was okay. Had her smile betrayed her? Was it a look of pain? It had felt strange, but then again any sort of act of happiness felt alien to her lately.

Kagome's mind had faltered, she had unwittingly thought of her life in the Feudal Era and had essentially beckoned the pain. Her body went into withdrawal, trying to shut down in order to protect her mind. The first time she felt dizzy, it came on unsuspectingly. She had been trying to focus on whatever it was that Hojou was saying, when her thoughts creeped to the events of a week ago. All of a sudden, everything went purple and then to black. The next thing she knew, Hojou was propping her upright and asking her a multitude of questions. Like then, she wished he would stop talking and let her gather herself in peace.

"Okay, I guess I can't force you to let me. You ready?" Kagome began to speak, but was cut off by a cramp in her left shoulder, where her surgery had been. They had said there would be no side effects, that her prescribed pain killers would keep her discomfort at bay... but what was this feeling?

_This isn't right. What's the matter with me? I just need to focus on getting home..._

She rolled her shoulders and neck gently, trying not to act up the cramp again. As she unclenched her eyes, she found Hojou's filled with worry. She felt guilt wash over her.

"Yes, ready if you are! Ha ha," Kagome began walking forward, trying to make light of the situation in order to assure Hojou that she was fine. He caught up to her, and seemed to believe her.

"Don't be silly, Kagome. But just let me know if you feel faint, okay?" Kagome couldn't look at Hojou's face, knowing she would find only sincere caring. Why couldn't she be as honest as he was? It made her feel horrible. But it was for everyone else's good, right? Why should they worry about her? Besides... the caring on Hojou's face would only remind her of how _he_ had finally showed her that he cared...

Kagome's breath caught, her chest cramping again. It felt as if her lungs were being compacted, she couldn't get enough air in them to breathe normally.

_Okay, okay... I can get through this. Think of something else. Seeing Mom, and Grandpa, and Souta..._

As she distracted her mind, she was surprised to find the cramp fading, her lungs expanding. She was breathing in and out, without the pain. She had sort of forgotten that Hojou was walking with her, so when he spoke she was a bit startled.

"So, Kagome... I was thinking..." Hojou stopped walking and turned to face Kagome. They were already at her house.

_How did that happen? We weren't even walking that fast..._

"Maybe we could go to a movie this weekend? If you were feeling up to it," Kagome instinctively ran through a list of excuses in her mind that she could possibly tell Hojou, but before she could say anything, he noticed the hesitation on her face.

"Why don't we see how you're feeling at the end of the week? Hopefully you'll be in better condition," He gave Kagome an unsure smile. She instantly felt horrible. Why shouldn't she give Hojou a chance? Nothing was really holding her back anymore... and he seemed to genuinely like her.

"Sure Hojou. I'll let you know how I'm feeling," She smiled back at him, but it felt forced, unnatural.

Hojou's face lit up, "Great! I'll see you tomorrow, Kagome!" He waved and turned to walk home. Before she realized what she was doing, Kagome grabbed Hojou's sleeve to stop him from walking.

"Huh? What is it Kagome?" Hojou looked confused as Kagome stood there holding his shirt. She said nothing at first, only staring at the hand she seemed to have no control of. Finally, she got a hold of herself and lowered her hand. She looked Hojou in the eyes. What did he see there?

"I'm sorry to grab you like that, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you walking me home. I hope you know that you're a great guy, Hojou," Kagome couldn't muster a smile at this, because she knew the reality of it. He _was_ a good guy, and she would like to give him a chance. But he didn't deserve to be with someone like her; someone who felt so empty.

"Sure Kagome, anytime," Hojou smiled at her. "Rest up, okay? Bye!" He waved at her and turned to walk home. Kagome watched him for a second, then turned to climb up the steps to her house.

**000000**

"Oh no. No, no, no..." Sango fell to her knees. Her body suddenly felt twice as heavy, her legs not finding the strength to hold her up. Miroku stood next to her, his mouth set in a horrified frown. And Shippo lingered behind them, heavy sobs still racking his body.

The sense of deja vu hung heavily in the air. Even though Shippo, Miroku and Sango had never seen Inuyasha in this situation before, they could sense it. It permeated their very beings, filling them with a sadness that they couldn't comprehend just yet.

Inuyasha was pinned to the Thousand Year Tree just as he had been fifty years ago; his back pressed to the trunk and an arrow protruding from his left shoulder. It was obvious to his friends that his new slumber had occurred in an event of anger and confusion. The hanyou's brows were furrowed and his mouth down turned, yet his fists were clenched. At first sight, they saw horrible sadness. But upon closer inspection, they could also see frustration. What had happened here?

"This... can't be," Miroku walked towards the tree, and came upon Kikyo's robes. He noticed the dust inside and began to form an idea of what had occurred.

_She ended her own life..._

**000000**

Kagome opened the door to her house quietly, putting her shoes next to the doormat as she did every day after school. Only today, instead of greeting everyone in her house cheerfully, she paused at the doorstep. She looked at her surroundings, knowing it was her home but not feeling like she was supposed to be there. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Silently, she climbed the stairs to her room and closed the door as quietly as she could. She hoped no one heard her come on. Being around people was wearing on her; she thought it would make things easier, not more difficult. Kagome had to wear a mask for everyone right now; pretend she was happy, pretend she was the same as before, pretend everything she knew hadn't collapsed all around her, making her feel so alone. Denying the agony she felt only made it all the more persistent. But as long as Kagome could make everyone around her think she was fine, she would survive. She only wondered how long it would be before the mask became natural, and she would no longer have to pretend.

Kagome sat down on her bed, and tried very hard to keep her mind away from dangerous topics. She stared at her ceiling to distract herself, making shapes in the strokes of paint. A cloud, a cat, a dog... a flinch of pain...

**000000**

"So... you think that Kikyo went to find Inuyasha to seal him to the tree once again? And to send Kagome back to her own time, so that she could return to the afterlife in peace?" Sango sounded skeptical of Miroku's hypothesis. Why would Kikyo choose to leave when she had yet to exact her revenge on Naraku?

"But... does that mean that Kagome can never come back? Is that why there's a barrier around the well?" Shippo was still crying, but his sobs were reduced to soft sniffles. Sango reached down to embrace the little fox. Miroku stepped forward to inspect the barrier around the well, choosing not to respond to his friends just yet. He was deep in thought.

"Why can't Inuyasha and Kagome come back, Miroku? Why can't things just go back?" Shippo began sobbing again.

"I see no way around this barrier... and the power Kikyo put into Inuyasha's arrow is equally as strong. The only person capable of breaking the barriers would be Kagome... yet the well is rendered useless, and she doesn't have her jewel shards..." Miroku reached his hand out to touch the barrier, and was instantly repelled with great force.

"What are we supposed to do?" Sango asked quietly. Tears began rolling down her face; she was afraid of what Kikyo had done to Kagome, and far more afraid that she would never be able to see her again.

**000000**

"Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi quietly opened the door to Kagome's room, expecting to find her asleep. Instead, she saw Kagome staring at her ceiling with a vacant look in her eyes. This worried her.

"What are you doing? You didn't say hello when you got home... so I thought you might not be feeling well," Mrs. Higurashi walked over to Kagome and put her hand on her daughter's forehead , worrying that she had worked herself too hard by going to school.

"Oh, hi Mom," Kagome finally peeled her eyes away from the ceiling. "I was just... thinking about school, going over the lessons today... but, oh, I feel fine! Don't worry!" Kagome jumped up from her bed and gave her mom a smile, as best as she could. It felt strained, and almost hysterical, but she was certain her mom wouldn't notice. She was surprised at how easily she had gotten herself out of bed.

_Weird, where did that energy come from? _

"Okay... if you say so. You don't feel hot," Mrs. Higurashi began walking to Kagome's door, but paused before leaving to announce dinner. "Supper will be ready in five minutes, will you help me set the table?"

"Of course! I'll be down in a sec, I just want to get out of these clothes." Kagome gave her mom a reassuring smile as she closed the door.

_How long was I sitting there for? _

Kagome felt a little worried. She really couldn't remember how long it had been. With some difficulty, she hoisted herself off her bed. Now the pain and lethargy was setting back in. As she turned to go to look in her drawer for clothes, she couldn't help but linger and let her mind free itself of all thoughts. She absentmindedly grabbed clothes from a drawer, and found herself in blue sweatpants and an orange t-shirt.

_This will do for dinner, _she thought.

"I'm glad to see you could join us, Kagome. We all thought you had fallen asleep again," Kagome's grandfather was sitting impatiently at the table, along with his daughter and grandson.

"Yeah Kagome, we've been waiting forever! I'm starving!" Souta beckoned for his big sister to sit down next to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I'd taken so long..." Kagome sat herself down very slowly, being careful not to upset her left side. She looked at the table and realized how very not hungry she was, but couldn't remember eating anything else during the day.

"How was school, Kagome? Did your shoulder bother you?" Mrs. Higurashi looked expectantly at her daughter.

"It was fine. And no, not at all," Kagome smiled at her family, still not feeling any warmth, but grateful to not feel any sadness.

**000000A/N**

Whoaaaaaaa it's been ages! Sorry if anyone was frustrated with me... I have this thing with not seeing things through to the end. It's super annoying, I know!  
But I'm back! And I really want to finish this story. I guess you could say I had a really horrible case of writer's block. Ha ha.

I'm still not too sure of where I'm going with this story... but if anyone has any ideas, let me know!

Just wanted to say thanks for the reviews and subscriptions. :)

Have a good one!


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